I don’t like my Dad’s wife. He’s been married for 9 years, and I have tried all this time to get along with her so that my children and I could be part of his life. He has become an alcoholic over that period of time, like she is, so I don’t let my children over their house unless I am there. The way I see it, he doesn’t have time for me or my kids because he is too busy taking care of her. She doesn’t work, she doesn’t do anything at all – she stays up all night, sleeps until 3 in the afternoon, gets up and starts drinking. I feel (and have felt all along) that she is fake to me and my children, and she is a user and a manipulator with him. I understand that he has allowed her to do this, he is not innocent, and he is controlling her by enabling her- he drives her everywhere so that she doesn’t have a car accident or stop at a bar after her Dr app’t, he drives her to the store so that she doesn’t overspend his limited income. She is controlling him and he is controlling her. I cannot relate to her at all- I have always prided myself on being able to get along with everyone, but I guess this is just too personal. She is a “me, me, me” person- always bringing the drama, and always needing to be the center of attention, and always drunk and obnoxious on top of it all. After she got in a heated argument with my aunt, at my son’s 10 birthday party a month ago, I finally told my Dad how I feel about her, that I don’t like her and have nothing in common with her, and that I am not making any more efforts to have get togethers with them. My Dad and I still talk on the phone, but I feel horrible about the state of our relationship- we had always been so close. He sees her family all of the time- that’s because they accept both of them- her because she is part of the family and him because he is funny and can carry on conversations about things other than himself. Now I don’t get to see him and neither do my kids. I guess I can’t accept the fact that this is the way it is, but I also know that I can no longer tolerate being around her to keep the peace. How do I accept the way things are and honor the way I feel about her without feeling so guilty about him?