Just a short while ago, I completed my very own 30 day Sexy, Fit & Fabulous challenge.

At the end of it, I came to realise that I was redefining what sexy meant to me. Most people [media etc.] will relate it to outside appearances: looks, make-up, clothes, weight, shape etc.

The only problem with going along with their beliefs is that you end up miserable trying to keep up because something will always be ‘off’: not slim enough, not enough curves, skin isn’t smooth enough, not toned enough, hair not shiny enough; make up not perfect enough; the list goes on…

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong in wanting to wear nice clothes, be a certain weight, wear makeup that looks good , put on nice perfume, get your hair done etc. – I like a lot of that stuff myself but the important thing is to do it because you want to, not because you feel pressured by outside influences. For example, I can’t remember the last time I wore make-up. That doesn’t mean I never will, but if I do, it will be because I just want to.

For me, my new sexy is a woman who bigs herself up, befriends herself, is compassionate and patient towards herself, practices responding as opposed to reacting, listens to her intuition, treats others the way she wishes to be treated, takes more care of herself instead of feeling as though she has to run herself ragged putting every one else first – the happier she is, the more everyone else benefits too, it’s win-win-win for all. Overall, she practices self love and acceptance. By no means easy and not even I have theses things ‘down’ perfectly and probably never will but it’s something I make an effort to practice and if It all goes a bit pear-shaped, I get back on track – no beating myself up allowed.

The outside stuff now comes secondary because i’m fed up with having to try and keep up with being ‘their’ kind of sexy. I now have my own new sexy and it fits me perfectly.

How would you redefine sexy to suit you?

• This topic was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Denise.