I guess this marks the end of this thread now…

Spent all day yesterday in my bed, not ate in 3 days and text that girl I been talking about in here about the crying, the yelling in my pillow, the head smashing on the wall, deleting everyone off my facebook (she was one of them too) and deactivating it, that I wont be going for coffee with her today, and that I will text her sometime later but not sure when. Not replied, so pretty sure she’s done with me after just over a month…only person who’s helped me, well sorta…most compassionate person I know too. Atleast now I know we were never friends.

Apparently I was told her phone got wet and died, tried contacting me on facebook but I deactivated it.

How would I be more closer to her? for example…she text me her phone got wet and she had to repair it and is back now but has to go away until Thursday to visit her sister as she’s about to give birth, and that she’s excited to be getting a niece. Also text her if she has got her niece yet and that I was going to give her the rest of my thanks giving dinner since she had to work and was not doing thanksgiving this year due to work, but I also said I figured having a niece was better so I decided against bringing the dinner over as I thought she gave birth already. She said “Thanks for thinking of me on thanks giving!” and that she has ate a lot lately anyway. But I never got a text from her saying she did not give birth, and I never would get a text saying that as she would be getting excited. I would never have known she’s not got a niece yet due to us not being that close and giving me those details. How do you become THAT friend who she thinks of in those types of moments?

I’ve known her for 11 years through work..so 1/3rd of my life, the newest person on her facebook got an invite from her to an event back when I had facebook, so i’d say THEY are closer then the 2 of us. I’m not sure if we will be anything more then we are? we have known eachother for 11 years and she’s apparently always considered me a friend, although we never hung out at all, text, etc. I’ve been reading about how to improve friendships from that friendships.about.com website but I just can’t see it with this girl after knowing her this long. I think we are as close as we are ever going to get, which seems like nothing much.

It’s all about those small details!

I’ll be here.

Here is an update. Her niece was born, then Thursday we were going to meet up for a coffee but she totally forgot, her plate was full with her daughter and lots of things going on. Told her we can do this another time but she didn’t want to postpone, so she picked me up and we got gas, then picked up her daughter and had some laughs while she drove her home. She showed me around her home while her youngest daughter got ready, then we went to drive her to her friends place. Drove to a pub and had a drink, some food and a nice talk about different things and told me next time we should meet up for a coffee and I told her a month from now? she said that’s too long, so maybe a few weeks.

Then she was about to drive me home but she had to pick up her daughters hip hop dance hoodie before it closed so I told her let’s do that first (just wanted a reason to keep talking to her longer), then she drove me home. It was about 3 hours total.

The next day I came to her work with 2 other guys from her old job, we ate there and talked and had some laughs. Plan to go back this week with the guy she misses the most of anyone at her old job, then if one of our buddies is playing with his band next Sat we will watch him, then November 12 if she’s not busy I invited her to watch UFC at a buddies place. Never realized how busy she is, always on the go.

Yeah, I probably should slow down a bit lol. Here is what happened, also the stuff you posted is correct. The youngest daughter who lives with her is 17, the other one who moved away to be with her boyfriend who’s in a band is 21. The ex who I thought she was saying lived with them lives with his mother, but sometimes he goes to their place and crashes.

I got to the mall we were going to meet up, waited about 40 minutes and phoned her work and they said she left a while ago so I text her, she completely forgot and thought it was happening Saturday, she had to pick her daughter up soon but had the time to pick me up first but I said we can do it another time but she did not want to postpone. So she got to the mall, we hugged and went to her car and got some gas, drove to pick her daughter up, she was late now picking her up now and we drove her home. Her dance class was cancelled, so we arrive at her place and she shows me around while her daughter gets ready, hold one of their ferrets and feed the fish. Daughter is ready, so we drive her to her friends and then we think where we can go…end up going to the pub and have some food to eat, some alcohol, and talk. She always loves how I hold the door open for people, she said “i knew you were going to do that” with a smile on her face.

We talked about my depression, her sister who had mothers intuition and forced the birth because she had a bad feeling something was wrong and there was…the cord was wrapped around the babys neck, would have been tragic if it was not a forced labor. Also her real name but it’s hard to pronounce, it’s a name of a river and she likes that name better then the short version, so i’ll have to learn her real name. Also talked about her career she wants to get into but she’s not ready for that yet, she has her anxiety she’s working on along with no time and does not want to be in debt, and I offered to help her out so she does not be in dept but she said no 🙁 her mother also wants to help her out with this. She knows I always have her back! Also talked about other things, and our eyes locked a few times but we are only friends. I paid for the meal, she wanted to pay for something so I let her pay for the tip. I told her she can pay for coffee if we meet up again, she said sure. Then I said how about a month? but it was too long apparently…so a few weeks I suppose?

Then she was about to drive me home, told her we should get her daughters hip hop dance hoodie for her team before it closes, also planned to bring me to get it earlier anyway so we did. Raced her up the huge flight of stairs and me as a big guy won, I was going 2 at a time not even out of breath lol. She got half way up and was out of breath and she’s a skinny woman that does yoga, but I let her win on purpose the other flight of stairs. Got her hoodie, they gave us free candy so I took some of the teeth and gave them to her, we were heading down the stairs and she taps me on the shoulder with the teeth in her mouth and tries to scare me, so I act scared. Then she drives me home and asks how depressed I am right now, so I tell her “I’m not right now, hard to be depressed when you’re hanging around a beautiful woman”. Guys look at me all the time when i’m around her, she’s very attractive and does not even look 37, but more like 25. Anyway she drives me home, then we hug and off I go. Then the next day I went to her job with 2 other guys from my work.

Well, I don’t want to intrude into her busy life. I’m just trying to take things slow, she plans to sell her home in a year or 2 and move to the boonies where her dad owns a huge acre of land she can stay for cheap and work a few days a week, garden, and visit family and friends. Calls it her retirement! If it happens I wont see her that often, but it’s a few years off anyway, but I hope it happens for her! Yes I really like her, but I think she deserves a guy better then me…someone who has his shit together. Her ex she had since high school was mostly depressed and was really toxic to her. 🙁 Would call her names and everything. She also gave me a challenge, she would try her best to give up wheat for 30 days if I take my anti depressants for 30 days, so I accepted but also told her I would go back to my mountain to lose weight.

Just means she told me she would not eat wheat for 30 days but only if i took my pills for 30 days. A friendly challenge.

BTW during our talk at the pub our eyes locked for a good 5 seconds before she looked away. Guessing it’s nothing though, but who knows. Sometimes we have those awkward moments we both dunno what to say next and just stare at eachother in the eyes smiling lol, normally i am the one looking away as my eye contact is pretty shoddy at best. She looks at me alot just giving me smiles with no words even if she’s far away, probably just her friendliness. Not text her since Friday, will probably message her tomorrow sometime. Still need to visit her again this week.