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Need some comforting words of wisdom : (

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #96148
    Karene
    Participant

    I suffer from anxiety but have been very well lately. I juice every morning and oil pull and eat a wholesome raw vegan diet- those things keep my illness at bay and give me self love. But this past few days I did the silliest thing.

    See where I work, I have had a crush on this guy who has schizophrenia. He flirts with me every now and then and its been going on for 6 months. At first my life was normal, until I notice the feelings he gave me and from there it has grown into a big thing. A thing where for months he seems not interested anymore. On new years he asked me out kind of – and we had a meal and then went back to his place to watch some films – nothing happened. And 2 months later- he has yet to ask me around- has mentioned it once but not done anything about it. He is not really my type anyway. And everytime I would hold my breath to see him and all he would say is that he wants to go home. Then there are days he is in to me. But he is more into himself then anything else anyway. And I dont think has the capacity to actually be in some sort of friendship with me maybe. he likes his mates though. I am all over this- I had my cry after valentines day.

    But the thing is that I had severe pms- and high anxiety and depression that I went on some rampage and thought that if I put bleach in my hair – that it would make things difference. I dont know what I was thinking – but I put bleach and vinegar into my perfect natural brown hair and it turned out all orange and nearly gave me a heart-attack- then I put a demi rinse on top of that and it now looks all brassy and red. I had lots of showers and burnt my forehead, also got all dizzy and ill from the chemicals and severe anxiety attack. Now I am taking a week off work. I have bought an ash brown colour to put in my hair- but I am leaving it for a while to get over the chemicals.

    I just feel so ugly and insecure with this hair and so frustrated. I dont want to be seen. I am trying to comfort myself with relaxing and listening to calming music and a hot water bottle. But I am finding it really hard to be mindful of this hair issue. I have a week to pull myself together when I go back to work and I dont want to feel this way. I am hoping for some advice on how I can feel better and back to feeling comfortable in my skin again. I just feel exahausted.

    #96150
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m really sorry about your hair but it’s fixable so everything will be just fine. Is there a way you can go to the hair salon tomorrow? Like a super cuts or great clips? If not, just dye it back to your natural color if you feel you can properly execute that task comfortably. If not, the salons I suggested are not expensive and very reasonably priced. If you need further assistance, I am running a LIVE broadcast and I can help you through my chat box – http://www.ivlog.tv/user/lovelife7

    If not, I hope it all works out for you.

    #96151
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I should warn you, I have visible scratches everywhere as I was in a terrible accident last week.

    #96169
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Karene:

    I have suffered from anxiety my whole life and have done impulsive things, like the one you have, many times over. At times I made the right decisions for myself, or at least, none harmful decisions, anywhere from …listening to positive affirmations audios while jogging (at 30) to trying a vegetarian and even vegan diet. But at times, out of desperation, when feeling overwhelmed, very distressed, i would do things that were definitely destructive to myself. So I understand.

    I do hope you recover from this last desperate act during the week off work. Be kind and gentle with yourself as your scalp recovers. Make a new decision, perhaps, to heal your anxiety more effectively over time, maybe psychotherapy, maybe some change in your routine, so that over time, you are less and less likely to become overwhelmed.

    And feel free to post here anytime this week (and after) and I will respond.

    Take good, kind, gentle care of yourself:

    anita

    #96464
    Shelly
    Participant

    As ElleTinker700 said, hair is fixable! If you are able to get to a salon, I would suggest that. I know a lot of beauty colleges are very well priced, and I am sure they could fix your hair for you. Take your week off to really examine your feelings regarding this guy, and maybe tell yourself that you need to just let it all go for you own sake.

    Take care.

    #96469
    Matty
    Participant

    Karene,
    I don’t know much about hair, i have very little 😉
    You want words of wisdom…. Well, from my perspective moving on and away from this fella at work is a good start. You mentioned he has schizophrenia, i assume he is dealing with some heavy things. So until he figures out who he is and what he is dealing with, then you can’t assume he will be able to give you the attention you deserve. But then again, that’s what a crush is, it at times seems completely crazy and illogical.

    This act of aggression you in-acted on yourself, i believe was you trying to take out your pent up anger out on something, unfortunately it was your hair. I truly believe one of the major reasons we get angry at ourselves is because we feel that we are missing something or deserve to have something. Whether it’s true or not. Because we too easily forget what we have, and instead dwell on what we don’t. The week might be over (depending on your location, it is for me), so my suggestion would be to look at your life as objectively as you can, look at your reflection in the mirror, ask yourself “What do I love about myself?”. It doesn’t have to just be your appearance, it can be your values, ethics, morals, they way you carry yourself, your kind heart, it can be anything. Remember this grasshopper; the only person who can tell you who and what you are, is you. You are by definition, your greatest fan!
    Good luck
    Matty.

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