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Obsessive Thoughts About Weight

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  • #126378
    sadpeach
    Participant

    Hi,

    Over the past 6 months, I’ve gained about 15 lbs and it’s become an all consuming part of my life. It’s all I think about and all I care about. I haven’t been diagnosed but I know I have a habit of some sort of obsessive thinking. It’s been about different things before, but now that I’ve gained weight it’s become my fixation. Because of this fixation, it makes losing weight even harder because all I think about is food.

    I used to have the body type where I forgot to eat, wouldn’t really think about food, and ate whatever I wanted. I was probably under calories most days because I’d just have one or two meals and that was all I needed. Of course like most people, some days I’d be super hungry and snack all day and eat a bunch but it was fine, because I probably could have used a bit of weight on me.

    Now, I’m a full 15 lbs and I feel so hungry all the time because I’m restricting myself. I can’t find the balance between eating a normal amount that’s still in a calorie deficit to lose weight. I miss just not caring about it. How do I reset this way of thinking within me?

    My friends are starting to become worried. I’m thinking I might need to see a therapist and figure out the root of this, I’m just afraid to go and open up pandora’s box or something. I don’t know. What do I do? I just want to lose this weight so badly.

    #126379
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tessa:

    Like you wrote recently on another thread: “the tighter I squeeze and the harder I think about it, the more the divide grows”- being overly focused on your weight is counter productive.

    Fear is underneath, the fear of being alone since your family members are chronically ill. Lately you expressed fear that your friends are not as close to you as they used to be. I think it is that fear in that Pandora’s box.

    I used to be similarly focused on my weight. To the extreme. I am still anxious about my weight and around food. These are the ways I made it easier for myself:

    * I keep working on, healing from the root cause: fear, ongoing, excessive (anxiety)- stemming from a very unsafe original family environment.

    * I stopped weighing myself exactly two years ago (after daily weighing and recording my weight daily on my computer calendar as well as marking it on a line graph!)

    * I put away all the size zero clothes I had to fit my desired weight (a bit under the BMI normal)

    * I no longer restrict items, deciding to never eat this or that- no “bad foods” and “good foods” You are correct: restricting leads to overeating/ bingeing.

    There is more, but this is for now.

    anita

    #128027
    Natacha Monica
    Participant

    Dear Tessa,

    I feel like answering to you as your painful obsessive thinking is something I have experimented from age 20 to 24.
    I used to be a healthy girl and teenager, but after high school I put on some weight and that was the beginning of this obsessive thinking for me that resulted in 4 years of nightmare and putting more weight the more I was trying to actually lose it.
    Now it’s been almost 3 years that I lost that weight (very slowly), and maintained it, but my biggest joy and relief is that I have lost the detrimental obsessive thinking that was leading me to obsessive eating.
    My biggest help and realisation was to to stop pushing away my thought about food, to stop punishing me and depriving myself from food because of the obsessive thought (like “but I can’t eat, I am too fat already”, or my mum’s favourite but cruel “you don’t need to eat, you have stock”!!!). This was the non sense thinking that was putting me into the restricting/binging vicious and horrible circle.
    I am so happy I am out of it! The longer you are, the harder it is to go out.
    Let me know if you want to discuss more about it, I wish I had gotten help at that time!

    Natacha

    #128047
    Peter
    Participant

    Same.
    For me my body does not function very well if I’m even 10 pounds overweight and I let it get to 40 pounds!
    My thinking of my wight and food as I tried to lose it became obsessive.

    To lose the weight I had to learn how to make the obsession work for me.

    I did this by being real honest about what I was eating and why, writing down everything I ate though out the day as well as my feelings about it. Once i wrote it it down I could stop thinking about it.

    By being honest I could easily see the reasons behind the wight gain and make better choices and avoid the labeling myself for those times where my choices were not the best.

    Like natachamonic I stopped trying not to think about food and instead just notice, without self judgment, when I did. the ego not as judge but as observer

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