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Realizing I'm not with "my person"

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  • #129627
    Ann
    Participant

    Hi all~ Well, I’m in an eight year marriage and it’s been pretty rocky the entire time. There were red flags when we were dating but I egnored them. Now married with still a child at home, I come to realize that I’m not with a person who I’m pretty sure, isn’t going to be someone who I will grow old with. We know splitting is in our cards. My soul knows this and it’s just a matter of time. My husband often brings up that he’s ready to divorce whenever I’m ready. The only thing we have really is the sex. We still have chemistry but can’t communicate worth a darn and never have. I’m not ready to end things and I’m pretty sure he isn’t either, even though he says that he wants to when we get into a big argument. As of now, he’s not taken any real big steps to start that process. My question is this, is it time wasted if you know you’re not with the right person in life?

    Ann~

    #130631
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ann:

    I will answer a question with a couple of questions, at this point:

    Is he a dishonest man, deceitful?

    If he is honest, did you try competent couple psychotherapy?

    anita

    #130727
    Ann
    Participant

    He is a honest person. No, we haven’t tried that type of therapy. He has a hard time taking responsibility for his wrong doing. He also can be controlling and passive aggressive. I alone work with a psychologist and was told men like him rarely change. I know that I started out with saying he’s not my person and these are some of the reasons why.

    Ann

    #131171
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ann:

    Your question was: “is it time wasted if you know you’re not with the right person in life?”-

    My answer: if you are miserable living with him, then you are wasting your time in misery.

    * I wonder how the chemistry be so right with the wrong man… there is something here…

    anita

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