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Reflection on the Idea of Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • #120303
    Megan B.
    Participant

    I have been thinking about this idea for a little while ever since a breakup a little more then two months ago and that is whether or not being sincere with your emotions is the best for us as people. In my thinking there are two sides to this idea. One being that we tell others how we feel and we do not keep emotions to ourselves. The second is that we keep our emotions to ourselves and act like how society wants us to be. I have been unable to find a stance that I completely agree. This is more of a rant for the next little bit. I wanted to type my ideas so I won’t be as anxious about it but I also wanted to have it so that other people have the possibility of seeing it. So if anybody reads this you are welcome to input your ideas surrounding the topic because I would love to hear another person’s perspective. But if not that is fine too.

    The first is that we tell and show others how we feel. This is like wearing our hearts on our sleeves. Personally this is what I do. It is in my nature to tell others how I feel. I have always done this. My problem is that I do not know if it is what is right to do. Most of the time I have been fine. People have always seemed to appreciate this. Realize that I am not the type of person to be mean. An example of what I would tell another person was that “when you did that, it made me really happy” or “when you acted like that, it made me sad”. And another element of being so open with other people is that telling them how you feel about another person. Like being in love, disagreement, friendly, etc. Recently when I have been so open it has just hurt me even more. I feel attacked, rejected, hurt a lot more. I do not know if those consequences should reflect being open. I have been hurt before but now I am being attacked by a person whom I do love and it is really putting a damper on how I feel.

    The latter is that we act as emotionless as possible. People tell me to do this. They see me hurt and tell me to just “let it roll off my back” and to be this emotionless “I do not care” personality. I have such a hard time trying to do this. I feel like I am putting on a role. It does not feel as if I am living authentically. I still feel hurt but I now have to pretend like I am not hurt. I do not understand this. If I act emotionless and pretend like it did not hurt my feelings then does that mean that the feeling is no longer there. More people put on this front then wear their heart on their shoulder.

    These two different ideas seem so confusing to me. Maybe it is because my best friend and I fit the two extremes. I am the one to wear her heart on her sleeve and she puts on a front. It seems like I am never happy and she is always very happy. People perceive me as being reflective, smart and her as being social, and flirtatious. She can move from one guy to another, while I am more of a one guy type of person. However we balance each other. Writing out how I feel is so beneficial for me. I am just a girl trying to figure out problems of my mind without completely losing myself. I want to understand the pain and learn from it. This reflection is just part of internalizing it for me. Thanks for creating a forum I can just get my ideas out there:)

    #120306
    Nina Sakura
    Participant

    Hello,

    I would prefer being neither too open nor too closed as my reaction would vary depending on the person and the situation.

    Open up accordingly on the basis of your own judgement rather than the advice of your friend or any stranger for that matter. You are on the right track it seems.

    Regards
    Nina

    #120313
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear meganb:

    My input on wearing your heart on your sleeve in personal context (not in a work place)- Not with abusive people; Yes with people who treat you with respect.

    When you interact with a particular person, you need to know WHO it is you are interacting with. Your behavior should fit who you are AND who he/ she is. No one way to behave with everyone since there is no such person as Everyone.

    anita

    #120316
    Zariah
    Participant

    Dear meganb,

    Wearing your heart on your sleeve is completely dependent on the type of person you are. Different people have different personalities and have different perspectives on how to live their own lives. I feel like you are going through a similar feeling that I have went through time and time again. The most important thing to remember is you are sticking to the person you want to be and the person you are now. The world is filled with people that like to share their feelings, hide their feelings, have multiple romantic relationships, or just have one. You just have to figure out what type of person you are and to be comfortable with that. What makes you sad, happy, angry etc.? The most important job you have in the world is to figure yourself out and find answers to those questions. Some friends will advice you to let it go and if it works for them that’s great they figured that out. If that doesn’t work for you, it simply doesn’t work for you and that’s okay too. You just have to go and power through the emotions and in the end you will find out more about yourself and have more experience dealing with those emotions.

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