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Relationship insecurities.. draining!

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • #63906
    Amber
    Participant

    Hi everyone!

    I am seeking advice for my current situation. I’m feeling really insecure in my relationship. Im always thinking that he can do better or perhaps doesn’t really love me.
    We live an hour apart and work different hours so that adds strain, for me anyway.
    The thing is, I’m actually a really confident, head strong person.. when I’m single. I feel no need to compare myself with other girls or feel self conscious about my looks etc…
    I love him a lot. And a part of me is saying I should be alone. But I don’t want too, we get on so well and he treats me better than anybody ever has.

    Why do I change into this paranoid mess when I’m in a relationship? It’s like I barely recognisemyself. I want to change before I pushhim away. Because we really are amazing together.

    Can anyone relate?

    #63913
    popi
    Participant

    Hello,i feel you because i was in the same situation.All you have to do is to build self-confidence.
    When we are in a relationship we feel jealous of someone or that we’ll lose our partner (girl,boy )
    This comes from inside.No matter what he/she offers to us we feel insecure that maybe one day we’ll not be good enough
    for the person we love and he/she will abandon us.You need to feel happy inside you,make things that can make you feel better (when you feel insecure).
    Remember that when we feel that we may lose the person we love, he/she sees it, understands it.
    I don’t suggest you to hide your feelings ,but try to make good thoughts about yourself and not you’re not good enough..
    Unfortunately in my past relationship my ex understood that i was super insecure and jealous of his class-mate,friend,or ex.
    This is your hypothesis and it’s not his fault,neither yours anyway,but you have to do the job for yourself!
    Last tip is that nobody is nobody’s…so when you think abou it you may be more calm and secure..

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 7 months ago by popi.
    #63923
    didi2136
    Participant

    Don’t worry. You’re not alone. I feel the same way, even that I know that my boyfriend loves me and I love him. The problem is when you love someone, that person can really hurt you and you feel vulnerable. All you need is to trust and do your best. If that person really loves you, will be there for you. If don’t, life goes on. No matter what happens, you need to feel that you’re unique and you will be fine!

    #64004
    Inky
    Participant

    Two things:

    1. Nine times out of ten, a real man won’t be with you unless he really WANTS to be with you!

    2. If he’s younger and still playing the field, you should be able to pick up on that energy right away.

    So which is it? Your insecurities from inside or you picking up that there is someone else in the wings?

    It is probably you. But, banish the “I’m not good enough” thought as he will soon feel that energy as well. Who gave you the message in your past that you weren’t good enough? What trauma happened?

    What can help is shutting down all media. For example, beauty: Who needs to see skinny beautiful girls with schlubby guys, or fashion mags with young teens impersonating gorgeous women? Or watching 50 hours of Netflix on the adventures of someone a size 00? Same with success.

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 7 months ago by Inky.
    #64013
    chelsea
    Participant

    wow, i feel like i wrote this post. I CAN TOTALLY RELATE. i just think we have to work on our self-confidence. my dad has never been apart of my life and so i translated that as “i’m not good enough” and it’s definitely STUCK. i wish i could get over it. i’m thinking about getting some counseling. i feel like i’m driving my bf crazy haha.

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