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Sad but hopeful

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  • #121867
    slider
    Participant

    Hello, my marriage was on the brink of divorce. i suffer from social phobia. it got to a point where it was affecting my marriage. my wife and i were estranged. i could not open myself up to her. our sex life went to null. we considered separating. i was so down and depressed, without any goals or desires that i felt guilty for trapping her in a sexless marriage. so much that i suggested that she see other people. she was angry at first but she is now seeing someone. and isn’t this what is turning my marriage around! it made me wake up and see that i still loved my wife and to start fighting for our marriage again. the process is slow, but yesterday we had sex again after a one-year hiatus.
    i am seeing a therapist and i went to see a psychiatrist, who prescribed antidepressants. after 21 days of the drug, i am feeling better. i have even lost 3 kilos (i was weighing 107 kilos). i am hopeful but sad because she is still seeing the other guy.
    should i continue to take things slow and see what happens? i mean, it was my idea in the first place to suggest an open marriage. now what?!?

    #121880
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear slider:

    In September this year you described your wife as a bully. You wrote: “she is very explosive and critical. and these things shut me up. and i can’t get myself to open up” You also wrote that you find it very difficult to stand up to her, that you are afraid of her, that she threatened you to prevent seeing your daughter if you separated from her.

    You are not dealing with a love-starved woman who you did injustice to. You are dealing with an abusive woman who has been harming you for a long time.

    So, Now what?

    anita

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