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Should I break up with him even if I love him

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  • January 16, 2017 at 3:09 am #125381
    ZW
    Participant

    Hi, this is my first time on this forum so I’m a little nervous but I feel like this is a safe and respectful place to seek advice so here goes.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for one and a half years. He’s British and I’m Chinese. I’m a university student in my final year so my visa, which gives me leave to remain, will expire in October 2017.

    The chances of me obtaining a work visa are slim given that I only have a limited time to find a job that qualifies and my parents seem adamant on wanting me to go home

    I love my boyfriend very much and he loves me. But I feel that our relationship is not set to last given the aforementioned factors.

    I’m afraid to break up with him now because I don’t want to spiral into an emotional wreck, especially not in my final year of uni. But at the same time prolonging this relationship will only make it hurt more when we do have to part.

    I’m torn. Should I just break up with him now or wait it out?

    Thanks very much for your advice.

    January 16, 2017 at 5:44 am #125390
    Poppyxo
    Participant

    Hi dreamer711,

    I’m assuming you in the UK and may need to return to China?
    If this is wrong I apologise, it just gives me words to write with.

    You are experiencing anxiety, worrying about the future, worrying about something you aren’t in control of is not helpful. If you want to continue a relationship with your boyfriend, why don’t you start looking for work a month in advance? Work your butt off to get a job/visa in the UK so you don’t need to return home?

    If you need to return home, then do so, keep in contact and keep applying for jobs until you get one. If you love your partner this wouldn’t seem like too much ‘effort’, if you don’t then maybe you will see this as effort.

    Have you spoken with him about the issue you’re facing?

    January 16, 2017 at 10:48 am #125425
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear dreamer711:

    If I was you, I would talk to the boyfriend about your dilemma- tell him about it as it is, as you shared it here, and listen to what he says.

    anita

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