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Soul mates or just a crush?

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  • June 30, 2016 at 1:38 am #108557
    Sarah
    Participant

    I am a college student. In the beginning of the school year I met a guy and I instantly disliked him for no reason. When I was near him I felt this intense vibe that made me uncomfortable. Over time he grew on me because he was so nice. One day it hit me that I like him. This wasn’t a gradual crush it just suddenly hit me like a brick. I don’t have feelings for people often and I tend to suppress them and keep them a secret when I do. Yet, for some reason with him I felt the need to tell people and talk about it. We always make this strong intense eye contact and we laugh at the weird stuff no one else laughs at. I feel like I can communicate better with him through eye contact than I can with my friend through words.
    Anyways, I was too nervous to tell him how I felt and after many awkward encounters the school year ended so I tried to just move on. Yet, I was not sad about it like I usually would be in this scenario. I feel extremely calm and at peace, I have this feeling that this was only the beginning of our story. It’s hard to put the feeling into words.
    Now I see him all of the time, everywhere. At the grocery store, in traffic next to me on the highway, at our old high school where I was dropping off someone. I honestly see him multiple times a week and it is all just by chance. Yesterday morning I woke up in the middle of this intense dream about him laughing at something I said and then suddenly getting up and leaving. For some reason this dream made me very emotional and I thought about it for a while after I woke up. About an hour later, I was out driving somewhere I usually would not have driven, but my usual road was closed and I drove by him and we made eye contact and I kept driving and didn’t wave because I am awkward. I know that this could just be me overreacting about my crush, but it’s at the point where I see him so often and I have never felt this sense of calm, warmth from a crush that I’m starting to believe that the universe is making us run into each other for a reason. After a few months of wondering I couldn’t help but post it here and get an outsider’s opinion.

    • This topic was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Sarah.
    • This topic was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Sarah.
    June 30, 2016 at 2:04 am #108561
    Nina Sakura
    Participant

    Talk to him more, find out if he is available and then ask him out. Eventually that’s how it will be if these feelings will materialize into anything – a deep friendship or love. Soulmates is a rather intense thing which is rare and one only knows for real till they shed their perceptions of a person and see them for who they truly are – it’s not just about being nice or sharing jokes, something much complex to put into words – both feel this and unwittingly stay in each other’s lives whether or not romantically involved. There is an innate understanding, vulnerability and trust – ofyen unspoken signals understood because we know this person so well, as if they were a part of us only – but soulmates is really after we shed away our projections of what we want them to be and see them for what they are.

    June 30, 2016 at 2:24 am #108563
    Sarah
    Participant

    I have this problem with overthinking and psyching myself out, I have tried to ask him out but I can’t! Honestly, just talking to him outside of school is a hard enough task. I really like how you describe soulmates as being after the projections on each person is shed. I definitely agree soulmates is a big leap from not even being close, but I only came across the idea of soulmates when I was searching for a way to describe how I feel about/around him. I process emotions through writing about them and I can’t process this because I can’t find the words to describe it!

    June 30, 2016 at 8:40 am #108599
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear neverland:

    The feeling you have about this guy, that calm, I think it stems from the belief you are forming, a belief that the “universe” has a plan for you, a plan for the two of you to get together as partners in life, to love and be loved by.

    The thought of you being loved by this guy is very calming- that is what love does, it calms you.

    Normally you would be very distressed about starting a communication with a guy you are interested in and with this very guy you had many awkward moments already.

    But there is something new this time that is comforting you and makes you feel safer: that there is a power greater than you, this “Universe” that will take care of what is too difficult for you to do yourself; a power that will bring the two of you together.

    anita

    July 2, 2016 at 1:01 am #108710
    Sarah
    Participant

    Yes, I absolutely agree. I guess now I just don’t know if I feel this way because it’s real or because I have convinced myself that it is real. Oh how I wish I could read his mind or see the future!!

    July 2, 2016 at 5:40 am #108713
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Neverland:

    So now it is a matter of faith: what you believe in. I don’t believe our individual futures are predetermined. And I don’t believe in a god or universe that is paying attention to my personal affairs. And I don’t believe it is possible to read minds- although it is possible to study a person’s facial expressions, body language and mostly, it is possible to study and evaluate what a person says and doesn’t say and what a person does.

    I think what is most important is for you to confront your fears of being hurt in a possible intimate relationship, and to interact with people authentically, get busy interacting instead of getting lost in abstract thinking.

    anita

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