I have been yoyo dieting for the past 10 months for the first time in my life and it has now led to a very unhealthy relationship with food and my body.
I recently stopped dieting when I realized I used to be able to eat whatever I want and was a twig — because I had everything in moderation. I’d forget to eat one day because I didn’t really care about food! I realized I clearly couldn’t “diet” and count calories for the rest of my life so I deleted MyFitnessPal and tried to trust my gut. The first week was fine, but the second week I went overboard and have been bingeing ever since. I really don’t want to restrict myself because I know it will cause more bingeing.
I’ve always had a huge sweet tooth and I always would sneak a few treats and eat too much growing up, but this is a step further. It’s not the worst in cases I’ve read about, but I know it’s disordered eating.
I don’t know what to do! Do you think this desire to binge will fade way once I just continually stop restricting? I hope this is just a phase after yo-yo dieting for so long.
I’m feeling so sad and hopeless because I never ever ever had an unhealthy relationship with food and now I do, and I do not want to feel this way for the rest of my life. I just want to go back to being how I used to be. I’m scared.
Restricting is an unreasonable practice of self discipline regarding eating, and so it often leads to overeating and bingeing (extreme overeating). Practicing reasonable self discipline regarding eating is necessary once you already experience disordered eating.
What is reasonable self discipline- you make the rules for what it means to you. You can start with certain rules and then adjust and change those rules through your experimenting and experience over time, so to come up with what works for you, individually.
The anxiety that fuels disordered eating has to be dealt with as well, at the same time that you figure those reasonable rules for your eating.
Got to say goodbye to the memories of the time when your focus was not on food, and welcome this new challenge. You can make it, Tessa. You can come out the winner in this challenge.
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