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The filling of the void

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  • November 24, 2015 at 12:48 am #88207
    therise
    Participant

    I have come to accept the fact that the relationships that I hold close to my heart are the ones that can truly set my soul on fire. Nothing has ever been able to rip my soul apart or heal it the way relationships in my life have. Had been in a relationship with a guy for a really small period of time. But once we parted, the other moved on with his life while I still struggle everyday of my life. Have always been a really introverted person and once I open up to the very few people that I consciously chose to, it becomes really hard to let them go away. Am sure I don’t miss the person per se but that comforting feel of having someone who knows me deeply.I believe the greatest joys of life is having someone who knows you to bits. The absence of this makes me feel a deep void within me and hence makes me question how one can be a complete being by himself/herself? Are we all not social being who consciously/subconsciously hold on to a lot of things/people? I have always felt that self-dependency is often over-rated. No one’ independent all by himself/herself.How do I fill up myself with happiness n zest for life all by myself in spite of having realised the fact that relationships are what truly make/break me.

    • This topic was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by therise.
    November 24, 2015 at 1:36 am #88210
    jock
    Participant

    Better to be single than in an abusive relationship. (doesn’t relate to your story I know) But of course what you say rings true for most of us. I have become so used to living with my partner, I can’t imagine life without her. When that day occurs, I must adjust to the new situation or else fade away. If we can’t deal with loss, we die inside.
    Pursue another partner might be one option for you. Take up a people-oriented hobby or visit a local church or Buddhist centre would be something I would do, if in your situation.
    Good luck.

    November 24, 2015 at 2:25 am #88213
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Rise,

    I understand how you feel. People ask me if I were to marry my ex tomorrow or month, would I feel 100% complete? The truth is, yes I would. If I say that I didn’t miss her, I’d be lying to myself. When people say that they don’t miss their ex’s I can’t help but shake my head because, if they didn’t then they wouldn’t even be talking about their ex on this forum to begin with. People need to start being honest with themselves on here or this is going to continue to be merry-go-round of un-happiness with on resolution. What a sad life that people have the tools and power to have a great partner in their life, yet they rather b miserable and constantly complain on here. I hope and pray that in the very near future, people will come to a resolution with themselves and choose to be happy. Whether that’s re-connecting with an ex, find a new partner to just closing the book on the past.

    Sending lots of love & light.

    November 24, 2015 at 2:55 am #88214
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Marry my ex tomorrow or a month from now* Un-happiness with no resolution* Sorry about the typos above. I fixed them here.

    November 24, 2015 at 7:25 am #88224
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear therise:

    I think human beings are social animals. I know that, it is a biological, scientific FACT. We are genetically social, born that way, evolved to be social animals through many, many thousands and millions of years.

    Introverted people, I believe, are people who were hurt in the past by a close relationship, most often in childhood and reacted by turning inward. So as an introvert I imagine you are more sensitive to rejection, more afraid to connect. Needing someone all the time and too intensely is a problem, of course. So it is a matter of balancing being alone and okay with it AND being social and okay with it (not losing oneself to the union),

    anita

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