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The loneliness of spiritual growth

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  • #123733
    tuxbsel
    Participant

    I have been reading, meditating, and working very hard at spiritual growth. Looking at things like this site, life between lives, pre-birth planning, etc. No one really understands this path. This path contains many dynamics that most people don’t understand so there are few people I can talk with. I share many inspirational quotes/motivational quotes and people are starting to ignore/block me on social media. People don’t invite me to events (and no, I really don’t share my opinions on these matters). I think I am getting to the point where I am almost starting to challenge own beliefs as I feel it is isolating me more and more despite the fact I have never been more happy or content. One of the hardest issues is watching my adult children (low 20″s) make many mistakes without wanting advice from parents. My wife and I generally keep ur mouths shut even though we know the decisions they are making may not be the best for them. I know, people need to follow their own path, learn from their own mistakes, etc. But that contributes to the loneliness. I have no one to talk to in growing personally, I have no one who wants to hear my advice. Generally I feel like I have completed what I was put here to accomplish. I am still here so there must be more. So, anyone else in this boat? If so, what are some of the things you are doing to feel the day has meaning? Sometimes I feel selfish because all I have is working on my own journey…..because no one wants, or appears to need, my help.

    • This topic was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by tuxbsel.
    #123764
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tuxbsel:

    You wrote: “I share many inspirational quotes/motivational quotes and people are starting to ignore/block me on social media.”

    The quotes you posted and the advice you offered people, is it about (as you wrote:) “life between lives, pre-birth planning, etc”- meaning reincarnation, karma from one life to the next, how to plan who to be born to next?

    Because if this is the nature of your posting and advice, it will be rejected by many in the same way as any religious advocate is rejected by those who do not share his/ her religion, be it born-again-Christianity or an Eastern type religion.

    anita

    #123780
    Adam P
    Participant

    tuxbsl,

    You are in the combination of a depression stage with confusion thrown in with self actualization. KEEP GOING! KEEP DOING THE WORK! KEEP MOVING FORWARD!
    “Generally I feel like I have completed what I was put here to accomplish.”
    -A common trap many people who start self actualizing believe. After they have reached their so called enlightenment, they believe that is it. No more work to do. Then they go back to their regular lives and fall back into old habits.
    I would suggest staying off social media and continue on your path to self growth. Going on social media to tell everyone about your self actualization is somewhat of a paradox. How the f-ck are you supposed to grow when you are concerned about posting status updates about your development and waiting for approval from others. Whenever you may meet up with friends and they ask you how you are doing, just respond that you are doing well and making a few changes in your life. Keep it simple and basic.
    Also if you have not checked out this website, it’s pretty informative:
    http://actualized.org/

    Thank You and Take Care
    -AP85

    #123784
    tuxbsel
    Participant

    Anita,
    I have figured out quick to keep my mouth shut as I realized my journey is in direct conflict with others beliefs. If I am going to have a conversation with them, I usually ask them if they are sure they want to hear my thoughts as they may not agree with my opinions. At least they have an out that way. I usually only repost quotes from Tiny Buddha or Spiritual Awakenings. I usually don’t post my own thoughts and processes.
    Thank you for your thoughts.

    #123786
    tuxbsel
    Participant

    Adam,
    I appreciate your feedback on my post. I have to clarify a bit though. I don’t go on social media to proclaim my successes or push my agenda looking for approval. I figured out early on no one is very interested or really understands what I am talking about. I guess this is where the loneliness comes in as I realized I have no where to turn. I figured I would try here (interestingly enough, I believe this qualifies for social media!). Usually what I repost is quotes from Tiny Buddha or Spiritual Awakenings. I never post anything from my own personal journey as I agree with you this is not the purpose of what I am trying to do. What I am looking for is a place where similar mindsets reside to discuss thoughts and feelings about similar journeys. I came here specifically so I don’t fall back into the old ways. I just thought it would help to not fall into the old ways if I could find similar minds.
    Thanks for taking the time to respond.

    #123790
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tuxbsel:

    Regarding watching your adult children making mistakes and not giving them advice: my one and only competent therapist I had gave me this piece of advice about giving advice to family members: “zero in on their feelings; give them zero advice”- meaning listen to them, pay attention, sort of repeat to them what they are feeling, as in: this (problem) is distressing you.. you wish you had a way out… etc. No advice.

    Regarding you looking for a place with “similar minds” so to not “fall into the old ways”-

    Would you like to explain what similar-minds mean to you?

    And what are the old ways?

    anita

    #123796
    tuxbsel
    Participant

    Anita,
    Similar minds means looking for people who read things like “conversations with God”, “pre-birth planning” books, “Life between lives” books and the meanings behind them. These have put me on a journey where I have never been happier or more content with my own being. I feel people we meet, and the events we face, are helping to complete the reason we are here and have our souls reach a new level of advancement. That is what I mean by similar minds. One who has no awareness of these concepts cannot participate in conversations, or even relate.
    The old ways I refer to are allowing others to affect your being, reacting negatively to situations, letting society and its ways to alter our being (things like road rage), not being able to control emotions, feeling a lack of gratitude for what we have, always looking to compete for things, etc. Basically all the things that make peoples lives miserable. I find I don’t need much to be content. I meditate, thankful for my family and friends, and realize I have all I need already. But the old ways say I need more, need to go on all kinds of vacations, am lazy or selfish if I take time to be mindful rather than get stuff done.
    Maybe these forums are not the right place but I though I would give it a try.
    Thanks for your interest.

    #123804
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tuxbsel:

    I relate to the old ways being ineffective ways of living.

    Regarding similar minds: I understand now more clearly what you mean by similar minds. I am not one, not a similar mind to you, as I don’t believe in the principles you believe in. To connect with similar minds on this forum (and there have been a good number of individuals on this forum expressing belief and support of the principles in those books you mentioned)-

    you can start a thread with a title of one of those books, your favorite perhaps, or with a few words pointing to the principle you most believe in. Such a title will catch the interest of a similar mind who is likely to reply to you.

    anita

    #123827
    Peter
    Participant

    A quick google search for spiritual loneliness reveals that you are not alone.

    Almost all wisdom traditions recognize the conundrum of spiritual awakening and loneliness and even warn that this will be a hurdle along the path for those that practice. It seems that ignorance or unconsciousness is truly bliss.

    Seeing the world as it is and saying yes to this world as it is, yes to life as it is, is bitter sweet. Becoming opens the door to compassion, love and even calmness but at the cost of knowing that life must, no will, come at the cost of the sacrifice of life, that learning comes from confrontation with hope and expectation… we seek holding a balance of becoming and acceptance – bitter sweet

    You recognize the loneliness of acceptance of the things you cannot change that you see so much clearer.

    Ram Dass: There is an intense desire, once you have tasted something as sweet as spiritual awakening, to want to share it with people you love. Sometimes it’s so strong that you get into a proselytizing stance that awakens in them a paranoid defense, because you’re saying to them, “Who you are, just as you are, isn’t enough; if you only knew what I know, or had what I had, you could be happier than you are, and I want that for you.”

    After a while, you come to appreciate that what you can offer another human being is to work on yourself to be a statement of what it is you have found in the way you live your life, and one of the things you have found or will find is the ability to appreciate what is, as it is, in equanimity and compassion and love that isn’t conditional; that is, you don’t love a person more because they are happier the way you think they should be.

    What you cultivate in yourself is the garden in which they can grow, and you offer your consciousness and the spaciousness to hear it.

    I have become an environment that is available, I am living my life in such a way that some people come up to me at an airport, and they say, “You know I’ve been watching you, and there’s some quality about you; could we have a cup of tea?” or something like that, and then I’d know it’s really “out there”; it’s really working; and what I find is that if I just am what I am, when people are ready they will ask, and now I really wait for people to ask. I don’t come on to people, I don’t like to teach where I’m not invited to teach.

    The above may be wisdom but it can be loneliness if the desire is to be asked.

    You may be interested in reading about the principle of vibration, the law of attraction and the concept of synchronicity. It won’t remove the problem of spiritual loneliness but it does show how a person becoming can influence the lives of those around them in loving ways. It is however another doing by not doing.

    #123956
    tuxbsel
    Participant

    Peter,
    That was awesome. Thank you!

    #143503
    InSearchOfPeace
    Participant

    Thank you all for this post.

    #143557
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear InSearchOfPeace:

    You are welcome. In your original post you wrote: ” I have no one to talk to in growing personally, I have no one who wants to hear my advice… no one wants, or appears to need, my help.”-

    There are people here posting, asking for help, for advice- you can offer those things here. You can also start a thread sharing what you know, all the advice, all the help you can share with others!

    anita

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