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This is hurting me

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Mark Mark 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #127861
    Profile photo of mouse
    mouse
    Participant

    I broke up with my ex a year ago…bumped into him recently…my first love, seeing him again was so lovely, not awkward at all. He spent the night and we spoke about maybe trying again. I spent a few days thinking about it and decided we could try again, see where it goes. I’m at uni now and he is in my hometown. I am still so in love with him, I was over him in a sense until I saw him once again. However, he rang me last night and told me he doesn’t think it’ll work because he feels responsible for the pain. It also turns out he has been speaking to some girl, which makes me feel sick to my core, even though he says its nothing. I feel broken all over again. I know I am young but he cared for me so much, we were best friends. I know I need to let go but I need help. I’ve cried all day and cant stop thinking of him with this girl…its breaking my heart. I am afraid I will feel this way forever and always carry a torch for him. We both love each other but unfortunately its just bad timing. Help please..x

    #127863
    Profile photo of Lynn
    Lynn
    Participant

    I’m sorry that you are hurting. It sounds to me that the real reason he doesn’t want to pursue getting back together with you is because he’s met someone else. If someone truly wants to be with you, they will (no excuses). It may not feel like it now, but you will be okay. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak in life. None of us are immune to it.
    I suggest concentrating on your studies, focus on the things that bring you joy in life, exercise, and eat as healthy as possible. It may take time, but focusing on being your best self is the best cure for heartbreak.

    #127865
    Profile photo of anita
    anita
    Participant

    Dear mouse:

    On August 7, 2016, you wrote about the relationship with this man: “Looking back in hindsight our relationship wasn’t amazing and I know I was miserable”-

    You are missing a relationship that wasn’t amazing and in which you were miserable.

    And you are still, six months later, in a relationship with this man, only recently spent the night with him. And still, it isn’t amazing and you are miserable.

    Time for a clean break, isn’t it? Happiness, or well being, is clearly not with him.

    anita

    #127945
    Profile photo of mouse
    mouse
    Participant

    He told me he had been speaking to her for a few weeks prior bumping into me, and that changed everything. He said he wanted to work things out and thought that we could make it work, as things with this girl would not develop. it was his idea. However, I just wasn’t sure.. so I guess this is for the best. I feel sick at the thought of him and her but I guess one day I will be happy again.

    #127947
    Profile photo of mouse
    mouse
    Participant

    You are so right, I KNOW this and yet we still keep hurting each other. I can only hope now I can move on finally and enjoy my time at uni. I was having a blast until he showed up again and left me confused!

    #127961
    Profile photo of anita
    anita
    Participant

    Dear mouse:

    If you don’t reunite with him again; if you leave him in your past, for good, then your confusion will also be in your past.

    Move toward a clearer future, new experiences, new friendships and in time, a new way, way better relationship with a man.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by Profile photo of anita anita.
    #128167
    Profile photo of Mark
    Mark
    Participant

    The hurt will get better over time. Hang in there and try and be open to new things. Good luck!

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