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Too Criticizing of Myself

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  • #102285
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    Today was he beginning of the American revolutionary war (against the British) and in 1943, the uprising in ghetto Warsaw (against Nazi Germany).

    Thanks, Shirley.

    anita

    #102291
    Janus
    Participant

    thanks anita;) cool that it is also the uprising of the warsaw ghetto against nazi germany;) i really believe in the power of thought b/c all spring break throughout to today i have been imagining myself as being confident and also becoming better at shot put and it works. i have become more accepting of myself and also really enjoy shot put with my teammates. like thoreau said “it doesn’t matter if you have castles in the sky, your work need not be lost,just build the foundations under them and have faith in the process of life”; i feel like that you can set your goals in your mindset and believe and work hard for them and lay the foundations, trusting that you will succeed, truly believing in your heart, you will find a way. so many people build dreams that they feel are impossible and they just drift through life. the important thing is to live your life and accept the circumstances you have now and make the best of them and make them work for you. i i may write a poem about dreams and goals and relate to stars. life is truly beautiful and there are so many healing opportunities out there. last night when i was stressed, i saw the light of green wings and angel raphael telling me to let myself go, just to not fight the stress, but just relax and delve into the void. it felt strange at first to delve into the stress, but i was able to see why i was stressed and recognize it, acknowledge it and let it go. people often lash out or fight their stress, but it just drains them of energy, the thing they should do is to delve into the stress, acknowledge it and let it go. it may help to acknowledge the stress as a color such as red for anger or blue for sadness and imagine (or physically) yourself take a colored pencil and you coloring the stress out, releasing it onto the paper. then crumple the paper up and throw it in the trash.

    #102294
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    Don’t fight against stress, delve into it instead. Give in to it. I like that and I can use it this very night because I am a bit sick and hardly slept at all for the last two nights. I was stressed about the prospect of sleeping tonight: will I sleep or will it be another sleepless night?

    So in two hours or so, when I go to bed, I will delve into the stress and I would like to let you know tomorrow how it worked for me, hoping it will.

    I like you becoming more accepting of yourself- that means you will not compare yourself to others and feel inadequate- sometimes- in comparison. It means you will be okay with not being perfect or the very best.

    I will delve into the stress…

    anita

    #102355
    Janus
    Participant

    thanks anita, i hope you feel better;) science rocks;) the full moon is often the time to shed light on ourselves who we truly are, to accept our past and move on from it as according to the farmer’s almanac tomorrow’s moon will be called a Pink Moon. it is time to shed light into your inner self, to delve into who you truly are and be one with your surroundings, let go and accept any negative energies that hold you back. only you can bring those dark parts of you to the light by accepting them and releasing them. andrew is great, he and i often share the same thoughts on science and he often finishes my sentences. i am learning about wavelengths such as radio waves in physics honors and am having fun discussing it with andrew. he is the second half of my science knowledge and we work well together and learn lots from each other. here is the site on the pink moon:
    http://www.iflscience.com/space/theres-going-be-mini-moon-thursday

    hope you feel better and wishing you the best of luck;)

    #102356
    Janus
    Participant

    so many people see the negatives of life that they fail to see the beauty and the effortlessness life really is. living my life isn’t hard anymore, i know whatever road i take i will be lead home. also when andrew, steve, dave and my special friend and i go our separate ways after senior year, i have faith i will be fine. i will miss them and hope we will stay friends, but i will accept the fact if we drift apart and still continue to live with all the values they’ve taught me. also thanks a lot anita for helping me renew my creative spark again, for always being here and understanding, it is a true divine blessing to know someone like you;) i think i have had many blessings in life and one of them is meeting you, anita;)you are a very compassionate and wise friend;) i think if i hadn’t met the people i met in my life, i wouldn’t have been the same person i am today, one who sees the beauty of life and enjoys acquiring wisdom and helping others. i truly believe everything happens for a reason and life is a miracle of opportunities. i have become more detached from others in my surroundings and have often tried to help others with their stress. i realize that i may never be the smartest person, the most athletic, the most wealthy or the most whatever; but no of that matters to me. what matters is that i am learning to be at peace with myself, to truly appreciate everything in life as a journey and am helping others as well. it doesn’t matter how much you have in life if you aren’t happy within or there are going to be faults that perturb you, what matters is the happiness, the love you can cultivate for yourself and the world that will last forever. some people like my parents and some of the customers at my restaurant find me strange and say i have my head in the clouds because they think it is impossible to live the way i do and accept everything as it is. but it’s not hard and accepting things is easier than fighting them and causing more stress, accept them, acknowledge them and use them to grow. as the buddha says “acknowledge your suffering, don’t let your wants and imperfections define who you are, that only causes suffering. look within yourself and see your inner talents and detach yourself from the world of suffering. be free and end suffering.” when some people tell me that they are depressed, i feel bad for them (i’m empathetic), but i won’t let their depression get to me and i will find ways to help them get through it or just shield myself bubble of light and just wait. too many people miss the opportunities in life because they see what they lack or the things that could be better. here is a poem about living your dreams, being yourself and truly appreciating the wonders of life:

    Be yourself

    You are only confined by the walls you build yourself

    You are what you love, not what loves you

    Think of all the things you could be

    You are not held back by who you think you are, but by who you think you are not

    Confidence is not “They will like me”

    Confidence is “I’ll be fine if they don’t”

    How much of yourself is truly you if you keep conforming to your limitations and the ideals society sets for you?

    How much are you truly living if you confine yourself in fear, afraid to even try, watching life pass you by?

    Who do you truly want to be in life?

    Don’t let others or the past define who you are

    Let the past make you better not bitter

    Learn from your mistakes and don’t be anxious for the future

    Worrying doesn’t take away troubles, it takes away your peace

    Sometimes the wrong choices take us to the right places

    Sometimes you may have to choose your own path different from others

    Just because you are stuck in mud doesn’t mean you can’t still see the stars

    If your garden starts growing weeds, accept the negatives and let them go

    You may have to take a chance and make a choice to uproot yourself and head in a new direction or your life will never change

    When things in life don’t add (+) up, start subtracting (-)

    Sow and plant the seeds you want in your life

    Listen to yourself and let your true self blossom like a flower

    Make peace with your circumstances, confront the dark parts of yourself and bring them to light

    Don’t compare yourself to others and try to be like them

    You will never feel perfect if you don’t have peace within yourself

    Comparing yourself to others just makes you lose yourself and forget your talents

    Everyone is special in their own way

    Appreciate your talents, look within and see your own inner star

    Let your star glow as you follow the path of your dreams

    Although life may be difficult at times and it seems that some people have the upper hand

    Keep your focus on what you love, play hard with the cards you’re dealt with in life

    Keep in your vision the life you want and see yourself in that reality

    Instead of wasting energy fighting stress and a life you want to run away from, make peace with your surroundings; accept the life you have now

    If you keep focusing on the negatives of your current life, you will never see the doors of opportunity awaiting you

    Make peace with your current circumstances; believe that you will reach the stars

    Strong people don’t bring others down; they lift them up

    Be the change you wish to see in the world

    Happiness can be found in darkness when one remembers to turn on the light

    A minute spent in anger loses 60 seconds of happiness

    Strong people forgive, weak people revenge, intelligent people ignore. (this also applies when someone throws mud at you and you also throw mud back at them, you both lose ground and it doesn’t solve anything)

    It is time to create your true self

    It is time to build the stairway to the stars, to lay the foundations under the castles you’ve built

    Your work doesn’t need to be lost just because there are obstacles

    Listen to your heart; Look at yourself and say “I can be the person I want to be in life.”

    Don’t be afraid to free your soul and fly

    You could be counting stars

    Nothing’s so cold as closing the heart, as closing the windows to opportunity

    So break the walls of society, of your limiting thoughts

    Break the illusions of all that holds you back and set yourself free

    Be yourself, play hard in life and count the stars

    Every second counts cause there’s no second try

    Just be yourself, it doesn’t matter if it’s good enough for someone else

    Live right now, try everything you can

    You are never too young, too old or too afraid to explore new horizons

    To find yourself

    To awaken that inner star within you that will be a sun that helps light the world

    You are a spiritual being

    Take your fears and turn them into hopes, take your obstacles and turn them into bridges, take your stress and let it go

    Life is a miracle

    You are a miracle

    #102362
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    First your poem: here are some of your lines. My comments are in parentheses:

    “Be yourself
    …You are what you love, not what loves you (great line, never heard it before that I remember, excellent)
    …Confidence is not ‘They will like me’ (excellent, my goodness, Shirley, very well said.
    Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’ (these last two lines are so … true, short and say it all)
    How much of yourself is truly you if you keep conforming…?
    How much are you truly living if you confine yourself in fear, afraid to even try, watching life pass you by?
    …Don’t let others or the past define who you are (the past defines who we have become, and if it is not working for us, we need to heal from the past injuries. It is not as simple as letting go of the past when there are injuries done in the past)
    …Worrying doesn’t take away troubles, it takes away your peace (correct)
    …Sometimes you may have to choose your own path different from others (I like the non conformity theme)

    You may have to take a chance and make a choice to uproot yourself and head in a new direction or your life will never change (Maybe the Poet Shirley will do that someday!)
    When things in life don’t add (+) up, start subtracting (-) (I often think people should subtract some people from their lives)
    (Funny, funny Shirley!)

    Sow and plant the seeds you want in your life (planning for the future, waiting patiently for results)
    Listen to yourself and let your true self blossom like a flower
    Make peace with your circumstances, confront the dark parts of yourself and bring them to light (yes, yes, yes!)

    Don’t compare yourself to others and try to be like them (I am so glad to read this one from you who I hope will continue to follow this wisdom!)
    …Comparing yourself to others just makes you lose yourself and forget your talents (and you know that!)

    …Appreciate your talents, look within and see your own inner star (stars, Shirley likes stars)
    Let your star glow as you follow the path of your dreams (and more stars…)

    Although life may be difficult at times and it seems that some people have the upper hand
    Keep your focus on what you love, play hard with the cards you’re dealt with in life
    Keep in your vision the life you want and see yourself in that reality

    Instead of wasting energy fighting stress and a life you want to run away from, make peace with your surroundings; accept the life you have now

    …Strong people don’t bring others down; they lift them up (beautifully said!)
    …Don’t be afraid to free your soul and fly (freedom and flying, flying free, good image)
    You could be counting stars
    …So break the walls of society, of your limiting thoughts (non conformity to societal expectations, I like it)
    …Just be yourself, it doesn’t matter if it’s good enough for someone else (repeating theme I also support)
    …You are never too young, too old or too afraid to explore new horizons (excellent)
    …To awaken that inner star within you that will be a sun that helps light the world
    …Take your fears and turn them into hopes, take your obstacles and turn them into bridges, take your stress and let it go

    Life is a miracle”

    Beautiful, Shirley. I am speechless as so much has been said so very well in your poem. Thank you for this delight!

    anita

    #102363
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    Thank you for the pink moon website.

    And thank you much for what you wrote about me. You are very welcome and I am so glad I met you and am part of your life as I am glad you are part of my life.

    You wrote: ” i realize that i may never be the smartest person, the most athletic, the most wealthy or the most whatever; but no of that matters to me. what matters is that i am learning to be at peace with myself”- this is wisdom that most people much older than you don’t know. In fact, the people in the restaurant, including your parents, who say your head is in the clouds, silly them: they are the ones with a cloudy view of reality. They are the ones who do not see clearly!

    You wrote: “accepting things is easier than fighting them and causing more stress, accept them” which reminds me, i delved into the stress last night and slept very well, so thank you for the message!

    You wrote: “when some people tell me that they are depressed, i feel bad for them (i’m empathetic), but i won’t let their depression get to me” I like this so very much. Remember it!

    What a treat your posts have been for me tonight, a delight, much appreciated!

    Till your next post, take good care of Amazing Shirley

    anita

    #102428
    Janus
    Participant

    thanks a lot anita;) my history teacher said “We all must fail to improve, to see our weakness and grow, to make mistakes and learn are all things encountered on the road to success, yet we must still try our best in all aspects of life. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you fail because it makes you a better person in the long run and it makes life worthwhile because you learn how to become a better and stronger person. If you are like the tree that never takes a risk or fears failure, because that tree didn’t bend and you don’t, one day if something bad happens you won’t be able to cope and like the tree, you will break. So live your life and have fun, take risks and remember failing is part of a road to success.” she was telling me about how some people might not achieve all their dreams, but the most important thing is to keep trying and knowing that wherever you will go will be okay and you will be alright in life. if you never fail in life, you won’t ever learn anything and life is pointless, it is our imperfections that make us who we are, that teach us how to become better people. i had lots of fun with my track mates today and i have gotten better at discus (when i first started i had trouble holding it and throwing it), but now i can do figure-eight stretches and i can throw it 6.5 inches and i managed four good throws today, spinning it off my index finger. i have also been trying the glide for shot put and i have some of the motions down, but i still need practice in keeping my balance and momentum as i push outward and release the shot ball. the workouts have gotten shorter, but they are harder and go for longer sets, but i have also gotten stronger as well. my teammates have a great sense of humor and are fun to be around. one of the workout things that is hard is inverted rows where you lay on your back (on a bench) and you pull yourself up to the bench bar, 30 times. another hard work out is doing 3 dips for every pull-up on the grip bar. we still do squats with weights on an incline and my sense of balance has gotten better and it doesn’t bother me as much anymore. the squat shoulder press (where you cross your arms and squat while lifting a bench bar is hard (12,10,8,8,6). incline pushups are hard (30 of them), but i enjoy doing them, yet they are hard when you have to twist from side to side and hold your abs in to work your hips. charlie (a thrower) and also sebastian (physics honors class) has been helping me with the workouts, sebastian has also helped me in physics honors and charlie helps me in ap world history. both have a great sense of humor and are fun to work with. andrew and i are having lots of fun talking about sound waves and antimatter and what caused the big bang and i am learning lots.

    #102482
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    Regarding failing, my input on failures and failing is that it is on the road to success and also on the road to failure; it is on any and every road one takes, inescapable. It is not an option. We will make mistakes and in trying to do this or that, sometimes we will fail. It is about getting up from the fall and learning from mistakes, if we can, best we can, make choices that are more likely to benefit us. But this way, or that way, there will be failures, and you never get to a point in your life that you are failure-proof, nobody gets there. There is no such place, a place with no mistakes and no failures.

    Good physical activity and a new name: Charlie (I read of Sebastian before).

    At this time you must be out of school for the week, and another weekend is starting. Hope you have some fun and definitely some relaxation!

    anita

    #102503
    Janus
    Participant

    it was really hot out today and some people were a bit irritated from the heat while we were at track practice, but that’s just typical. charlie and willie (a guy who plays football, but is now doing shot put for track) were competing and they were both making other teammates laugh. willie and charlie have great sportsmanship and often encourage the other teammates to do their best and their witty sense of humor makes people laugh. javi (also who plays football is also doing shot put) and he and i have a lot in common. he and i both enjoy the medical field, being out in nature and working out. he is interested in oncology (study of cancers and tumors) and so am i. he is quite interested in brain and heart tumors and hopes to help those with cancer. i want to be a medical researcher and research stem cells and molecular biology and help those with cancer as well. while i will be working as a scientist, he will be a doctor. javi also has a great sense of humor and is quite good at logical reasoning and he enjoys cooking as much as i do. he was in my cooking and sewing class and we would often have fun competing with each other who was better at using the sewing machine and who cooked the best recipes. dave is still quite entertaining and helps me study for physics honors and the sats. even though, he and andrew have teamed up and they are competing against me, dave and andrew both continue to to look out for me. my lunch buddy, steve is also helping me with performing operations of trigonometric functions adding, subtracting, etc. using trigonometric identity. even though i’m not the smartest or the most athletic and i don’t care much about fashion, i find myself getting along with guys quite well. i enjoy being myself and sometimes i’m just happy to have people who accept who i am and who share the same laid-back nature as i am developing. i find that i’m becoming less and less like my parents and more like my friends and that i am happy with myself.

    #102507
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    I am so glad to read that you are “becoming less and less like (your) parents and more like (your) friends”- this means less and less criticizing of yourself, less and less pestering and pressuring yourself and more and more accepting yourself, encouraging yourself and treating yourself with kindness; it means being less and less distressed and more calm and laid back.

    You made my Friday evening with this announcement! Please do continue this way!

    So we have Dave and Andrew, who teamed up against you but are still looking out for you, and we have Steve your lunch body and new names: Javi, Charile and Willie.

    You are quite consistent about your professional aspiration and you are developing the mindset that will make it happen.

    Looking forward to your next post, always.

    anita

    #102561
    Janus
    Participant

    thanks a lot anita;)i have realized meditation helps a lot b/c it helps me recall memories that i have in the back of my mind at times when i need them. such as when i had to find the nth term of a sequence, i experienced a moment of mental clarity and was able to think the formula was a_n= a_1+(n-1)d. the “_” symbol is a subscript. i also remembered about how to find polynomial degrees using a table. also i have become more attuned to my surroundings and it doesn’t matter if people are negative or trying to bring me down, i just ignore them and imagine myself in a warm bubble of light. meditation has also helped me think quicker and i am also on my way of learning how to heal myself, in fact i have had results show especially with my circulation. at times throughout the day, whenever i seem to stray from mental clarity, i remember to remind myself to connect my crown, open my heart and let the divine energy flow into me. we are all made of star stuff and have the ability to heal ourselves mind body and spirit and if we believe and connect to our divine selves from within, we are already halfway there. if we open ourselves up to divine love and healing and truly believe in our potential instead of spending our energy fighting life, if we accept and trust the path of life and just look around to the beauty around us, we would truly realize life as effortless and as a miracle. i truly am grateful to all of my friends for also helping me. i feel like they truly have helped me see the divine in the world and myself.

    #102572
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    We are all made of star stuff-

    This is a beginning of another poem, I feel, an excellent beginning, a quote of what you wrote: we are all made of star stuff…

    Imagining yourself in a warm bubble of light, recalling memories from the back of your mind, thinking clearly, healing yourself, all good things.

    I wonder: do you prefer the weekdays over the weekends? Being in school and around friends instead of being at home and in the restaurant?

    anita

    #102596
    efendi
    Participant

    towards believer of gods, buddha say god not exist.
    towards believer of no gods, buddha say god exist.
    hold no belief, so you can live in the moment

    #102630
    Janus
    Participant

    excellent words of wisdom efendi;) i feel like it doesn’t matter what we believe, it is our actions. there are some people in this world who say they believe in god/s, yet they still continue to feel conflicted or angry at the world for whatever reason. we should follow our hearts and do what is right and not be tied down to all the morals of what god/s dictate. like you said “hold no belief, so you can live in the moment”, i agree we should just appreciate ourselves and our life despite our beliefs. it doesn’t matter what beliefs you have if your beliefs don’t make you happy. the most important thing is to have a positive attitude and cultivate compassion for the world. buddha never thought himself as a god or deity, but as a spiritual teacher helping others find their way. some people seem to be restricted by their beliefs since they follow a daily practice and stick to it, while this may be comforting to most people, sometimes it is good to step out of the boundaries for a while and explore new horizons. you said “towards believer of no gods, buddha says god exists”, some people just enjoy going through life, but they miss the bigger picture and life seems to pass them by. also those who have no belief in god/s are sometimes freer since they aren’t tied down by limitations of what god/s seems like and they can just appreciate their divinity, a higher self. since also for those who believe in god/s sometimes they seem to be subordinate to the god/s they worship instead of sharing a mutual connection and working together. the important thing is to follow our hearts, cultivate compassion, do what’s right and not to put limits on god/s. god/s should be eternal and all-encompassing instead of having so many strict rules to follow. we make our own decisions in life and we must face the consequences of those actions, yet we should continue to live life to the fullest regardless of who we are because a life spent in anger, a life spent in illusion is a life unlived.

    anita, i think i like a balance between both b/c at school i don’t really like my ap english and history classes, but i love pre-calc and physics honors. although if i had to choose between one or the other, i prefer school better because it gives me an opportunity to be around people who are laid-back and truly appreciate me for me. i also enjoy learning new things at school and having track practice with my teammates. at home, my parents are constantly complaining about whatever injustice that comes up, no matter how trivial. however, i don’t let the negatives affect me as much anymore. there are times when i will get irritated, but i always find ways to bring about peace and center myself. i think my next poem will be called “believe”, “set your sights for the stars”, “break the illusion” or something of that nature and it will feature that line ‘we are made of star stuff”. it will be a poem about the power of positive thinking and going for your dreams, realizing that you are capable of many things.

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