From personal experience, anyone who ever invested time or connection in you at all won’t be 100% content to have you go. Yes, he left, but it probably isn’t true that he feels only happy thoughts about it. The people who ghosted me were always at least a little torn, but since they took the initiative to reject, they were already on their way to getting over it just fine. They did cry over it, despite moving on.

Maybe you should just make an attempt at that last phone call. It will work you up, and depress you, but at least you can “reject the rejecter” and make it your choice to say, “I will not let HIM define how I should be.” Think about the main point of what you would convey to him, and try to end things on your terms without dragging it out. If you drag it out, or crack and beg, it will only make you feel worse. (I’ve been there.) Make it YOUR choice to define what it good for you, to shove someone that immature into the history of what makes you you today, and try to pray pray pray when it’s still hurting. It might be the best way to find God, through suffering.

I’ve been there. I know the pain. I know what it feels like, when the light of your life goes out, and the best thing you can do, is summon allll of the strength you can, and decide you’re not going to let him have that control, because he isn’t the person you perceived him to be. The person you knew doesn’t exist, like being sad over a TV show. It seems rational watching it play out, but no one is going to hurt themselves and damage their lives over a sad program they saw on TV, because those people aren’t real.

Exercise:
Match the person you thought of him as, to the person he is right now. How far apart are they?

I know you are simply mourning the memory and loss, but if you do contact, it is important to know he already is a ghost and you’re already on your own to make your own choices. Seek closure, one way or another.