Dear Nicole:

The norm of you and your husband fighting has to stop. Not only because of your mental health and your husband’s, but because your daughter has a need to live in a place where she feels safe, a home. She has the right to live in a home where there is no violence, physical or verbal. I understand you are overwhelmed but as a mother, you have that responsibility.

So first thing I strongly suggest to you is to stop fighting with your husband. Sit with your husband and decide on certain rules between the two of you: a to do list and a not-to-do list. For example, you can reserve 10 minutes at a certain time of the day to … air your mutual complaints and do that behind a closed door and in low voices so your daughter doesn’t hear you. You can decide on rules on how to talk to each other otherwise, always applying Respect in the way you talk to each other.

When you do that, you will feel calmer and less overwhelmed simply because you will feel good about having some power over your situation, and less overwhelmed with all the things out of your control.

Till your next post, anytime:
anita