Ladybug,

Just a thought, after reading your post from April 4: While I can identify with your new journey to authenticity, I can also identify with your mom just a bit. As the mother of an 18-year old daughter, I walk a thin line between being authentic around her and being a role model. If I come home after a crappy day at work, I tend to put on a happy face and set my worries aside as best I can before greeting her for the evening. On the one hand, I suppose that does make me fake, but on the other hand, I don’t believe parents should burden their children with the stresses of their daily life. As much as I would love to be her friend, she’s still my daughter and I have responsibilities to her in that role first.

I once heard it said that the scariest thing to a child is to see their parent NOT in control. Now, I’m certain that by now my daughter has figured out I’m not always in control, but I do still try to project an image of stability and calm around her – to give her consistency and a feeling of security in her life at home. Conversely, while I don’t always expect her to be happy and cheerful, I am on the lookout for drastic changes in her personality because I know she may not always confide in me when she’s dealing with something worrisome in her world. She worries about “disappointing” me and doesn’t always tell me the whole truth.

So yes, when you write it out the way I have above, it makes it sound like my daughter and I are engaged in a huge scam – never really being completely honest with the other about how we are feeling in life. In truth, it just takes time to change the way we see each other from our current adult/child role to a new adult/adult role – and to learn to trust each other in that role as well.

The fact that your mom has zero’d in on the changes in your mood is (maybe) a sign she’s worried about you. Have you considered sitting down with her to just tell her how you feel? You must do what feels right for you, but you might be surprised to hear her tell you she completely understands. If you were my daughter, I’d want to know what was in your head, rather than imagining any number of other things it might be. Just a thought. Keep being true to yourself no matter what. Hugs. 🙂