Dear annema:

The most reliable indication of how a person will behave is how he has behaved in the past. So not following through, not walking his talk is his pattern. Too bad. An ultimatum in itself is not a bad idea, only even if he did follow through and the wedding did take place (because of your ultimatum), you will be still stuck with a man whose pattern is to not follow through.

so, do you live the rest of your life giving ultimatums? This would be very frustrating. I would say this is a real problem that goes beyond getting married or not.

If you get married, he is likely to not follow through with things he promises your children, which will damage them. Maybe it is better that the relationship ends…

anita