Hi Karene,

I sounds like you had a really difficult time in life.

You did NOT invite/deserve to be raped. That should NEVER have happened to you!!

You did NOT deserve to have that horrid man from your twenties treat you that way. THAT should NEVER have happened to you either!!

What I have done (and it did help!) was to write about all the experiences, and write all about how horrid these men were. Let it ALL out! Be as angry and vindictive as you want when you write! Be prophetic ~ write about how crappy their lives are now. How if they saw you now and think of you now they’d be kicking themselves for treating you so badly. Heck, even (safely) light a Voo-Doo Justice Candle! And then (safely) BURN the papers!! Use a fireplace or a grill.

Now, as for this boy/man-child at work. Listen to me, he is incapable of having a normal relationship or relating normally with other people. Don’t do any of the above with this one. Feel sorry for him. And You do you! If switching your work hours will make your emotional life easier, do it!

Looks: Fat, thin, conventionally attractive, plain Jane, we are what we are!! My DH thinks I’m gorgeous, but few other people may. Go figure! You know? Like, I’m attracted to nerds. Why? Who knows?? As women, as long as we are well groomed, are dressed neatly and have on a smattering of makeup and do our hair and nails once in a while, no one can complain! Go to the mall and sit in those mall chairs and people watch for fifteen minutes. Most people (the general public) are whatever-y looking IRL. When you go into the mall stores though, the pictures of the young thin models would have you believe otherwise.

Advice if you choose to accept it: What has helped me with me was to (in addition to burning my written troubles away) was to go outside of myself. By volunteering in the community and at a place of worship, my social anxiety decreased because I was on a mission.

Good Luck!

Inky

• This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by Inky.