Dear Inky,

I did contact him about 4 years ago, I wanted to tell him that I forgive him and I am sorry for what ever wrong I did to him. Something told me he needed to hear it more than me for him to move forward. He said he knew I would contact him one day, and that we were too young when we broke up and we both had our reasons for the way we behaved. He asked if I was seeing anyone and I said no, I asked him the same question and his answer was no. It was a peaceful conversation.

A year after I moved to another country and I went through a hard time to settle down. Every time I go through hard time I think of this failed relationship. Then my father had to undergo a by-pass operation. I panicked and called him and said I am still hurting. He told me he knew I would regret breaking up one day and that he is married. I asked him if he is happy, and he said he moved on. I asked him again if he is happy and he said yes. He said the only thing he can do is listen to me and for me to call a friend and he will get us in touch as his wife would not like if she knows that I am speaking to him. I told him I don’t want to do that, to be in touch with him. I didn’t want conversations to turn to an affair.

Now when I look back and calculate the timings of the two calls, I feel he must have been engaged/seeing the person he married when I first called him. But he didn’t tell me that information. That hurts me too as he was hiding it from me.