I’m actually feeling uncomfortable about the way you are writing. I don’t think you have any children; nor do I think you have much compassion or understanding.

I have not raised my voice at all, not once. But I don’t think you writing repeating Te word abuser abuser abuser over and over is kind, understanding not helpful. I am well aware of the effect this has had in my children. And yes my son was born sensitive. I never raised my voice, did cry it out, hurt him at all – ever for the first four years of his life. I was highly responsive gentle and kind. Yet he was highly sensitive to stimuli. But thank you for your insight, it might come from a place of pain in you.

I am highly responsive and attentive, I had twin babies with zero support, never did cry it out, held them in my arms, with my older child on my legs. Any mother, any, left alone with zero support will abuse. It’s true – it’s nature. And that’s why I’ve taken great pains to build a community of support around me. And that’s the dilemma and anger I hold is that DH has taken this away from us so many times.

I sit with my kids every day and read for 1-2 hours. I play games with them. I respect their feelings. I listen. I respond. I put them first. I very very rarely leave them. I don’t go out, or have fiends. I give give give. And yes sometimes I break down as any human would under immense pressure, and my ticks and fleas crawl out. I’m constantly working on it. Constantly guilty. I’m constantly exhausted.

Do you know what that feels like?

I appreciate your words, I appreciate that you’re trying to make me understand the seriousness – and I already do. Otherwise I’d join the leagues of mums who punish their kids with a smile on their face because they think it’s for their own good.

I won’t ever shout again, unless there’s an energy, I feel I’ve snapped out of it. And u thank you for that. But I’m also going to stand up for myself, and reclaim my power. Because that’s what I need and my children need, a strong mother