Dear grimsy:

I learned enough about your story here, on this thread, to now understand that your interactions with this man is you re-enacting your interactions with one or both of your parents/ care taker/s.

You didn’t come out of your childhood feeling and believing you were loved so you desperately need that feeling, that believing. This is what motivated you to fall desperately in love with this guy- you desperately need that which you didn’t get as a child.

As a child you were very hurt for not being loved and naturally you were also angry at the parent who you reached out to again and again, reached out with love, needing the parent to love you. The parent ignored or otherwise rejected you again and again. This is an injury that keeps hurting in your psyche, your mind.

So you reach out to this guy, online, and like a child that is loving of the parent, automatically and intensely, you expressed your love to this man. And then you wait for the love back, just as you did as a child with the parent. And when the guy said “miss you”- the hurting little girl in you said something like: “That is all? This is all you have for me? After all my waiting? After all that you did to me (seeing your rejecting parent in him)..? And the anger flares.

What do you think? Let me know

anita