Hi ShesaRainbow

I’m on the other side of this at the moment. I feel like I have been abused by my ex really badly (physically, financially, emotionally etc) and she claims I abused her also. I feel like she never takes responsibility for problems and she would not attend counselling, when I was ready to, without a problem. I have no problem with anyone hearing about our relationship and telling me if I was wrong, or if I potentially abused situations. I want to learn and grow as a person.

I am feeling tremendous guilt also. Friends & family say not to, that I am finally free. I completely understand where you are coming from. I’m trying to work through this guilt in counselling but it is very difficult. Part of me has a vision for how I want my future to look, a nice down to earth lady with less emphasis on looks and more on personality. But even thinking like that wracks me with guilt when I think of my ex probably struggling financially, emotionally and even though she physically assaulted me and her daughter a number of times over a long period of time, I still feel that guilt.

Guilt can be very difficult. Like Anita said, I am trying to discover if that guilt was in me before I met my ex. I just do not know. But I am going to persevere. I need to know. I’m glad you posted this message as it helps me see others have the exact same problem, even after splitting from someone whom they believe is abusive and can do no wrong.

Sean.