hi anita

thanks, i think it is interesting to note how the mind and the heart are in conflict.
i think i am trying to use my mind to convince my heart, but apparently they operate in differnt systems , and my heart is always the one who takes the lead, this rational thinking doesnt help as much i guess.
but i think you are correcr in a sense that i sort of feel safe when i am with her, but all now that is left is hurt when i am with her, at least if she continues to blame or hate me.

today i can feel i am letting go more, for some reason, i think i see how bad they have been treating me. and i finally realize, there is nothing in this chaotic relationship that worths my effort anymore.

chau