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Reply To: confused about my subconscious motivation?

HomeForumsPurposeconfused about my subconscious motivation?Reply To: confused about my subconscious motivation?

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greenshade
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Hi Inky! thanks so much for taking the time to reply! I have finished my studies, and both paths are work oriented. Path A is what I studied as well as what my family wants, its very intensive and will leave me with very little time to pursue other interests. I do enjoy some aspects of it. Path B gives me the chance to exercise some creativity along with the knowledge I gained from learning Path A. However, my experience with B is limited and I’m scared I’m only pursuing it because path A requires a bigger commitment than I’m ready to make at the moment ( I have been struggling with depression the past year and things in general seem less manageable). I don’t know to what extent that is impacting my decision.

Hello Anita 🙂 good to hear from you! Yes please. I remember saving up for bikes and roller blades when I was a child and giving up after a day or two. It felt overwhelming so I would give up. My dad does struggle with anxiety among other things and was over cautious when I was young. As an adult I have been trying to unlearn that fear however.
I would also become obsessed with a band, or an activity and then learn everything I could about it. I would talk about it until my friends and family were annoyed, I would dress like the people from that band or activity, all of the essays or stories I wrote in English class would be about them. Then the interest would fade or something new would come along and I would become obsessed with that instead. I don’t think it was anything negative about the first activity, just the second would be new and more exciting with things for me to discover. Well, there would be some negative because I would be saturated with it. I’m afraid this is whats happening now, Path A had been explored by me. Path B is new and therefore more tempting.
On the other hand, I never wanted to do Path A but ended up choosing it out of fear of disappointing my family and learnt I enjoyed some parts of it. Path B has some creativity involved and my problem with path A when I was choosing a university was it not giving me the chance to use my creative side.
Thanks for reading my long and very scattered post 🙂