Dear Denise:

First accept what is, simply because it is. Then if you want it different, ask yourself if it is possible for you to change it. Examine and understand what it is you are trying to change before you try to change it.

Regarding the things you can change, often it is necessary to have another person cooperation in the change as you can’t do it alone. If what you want to change is in the context of a relationship, then you have to change together.

If it is a feeling you have, accept it. Ask: what is the valid message in what I feel. Then it will change by itself, having delivered its message. If you are afraid to do X and you want to change and do X, then you have to accept that you are afraid and gently guide your scared self in doing what you are scared doing, patiently. When you are ready.

Let me know if somewhere here I helped with your question.

anita