Dear tinysparkofhope:

These are a few of the things you tried- persistently- so to improve your situation from the time before you got released from the high paying job (a year before) to the present:

The Laws of Attraction
Clearing your chakras
Various self help courses
Gratitude diary
Numerology
Feng shui
Career coach (briefly)
Crystals,
Mediating
Practicing EFT
Exercising
Learning new work related skills
Applying to jobs, including low paying
Hypnotism (CDs)
Tai Chi

There is something you didn’t try, as I see it: accepting the reality of that last job that ended five years ago: accepting the … negativity that you can do nothing about. That negativity, injustice was: a few people in the company had the power to give their work to others while being secure in their position because of their contacts, their power in the company. You didn’t have their connections, their power and so, you were expandable. You watched others taking advantage of you, felt understandably angry but decided to… get rid of your anger by starting a gratitude diary.

A gratitude diary is fine, but not if it is a substitute to seeing and accepting reality. What I mean by it is that your anger, needed to address it. That anger needed attention- you had to find a way, at the time, to stand up for yourself.

This is what you didn’t do: stand up to yourself. That was the valid message in your anger at the time. You wrote in one of your posts above: “I was resentful but did nothing! That is what I regret as I said before, not standing up for myself.”

All the things you tried were in place of standing up for yourself.

Exercise, tai chi, all those things you tried, they can’t take the place of being assertive.

anita