Dear ferion:

Leaving that job was “the first ACT of my will that i did in many years”- you feel very strongly about that job, not wanting to go back there. I think you shouldn’t. If indeed your mother is emotionally supportive of you, well at least you have her then. Don’t go back to that job then. You feel too strongly against going back there.

Your feelings do matter. Your aversion to going back to that job is loud and clear. And it is not such a great income producing job and of no value regarding building for a better future career as I understand it.

I vote for not going back to it.

Instead, manage your anxiety best you can, way better than you did before. And look for some other way to produce that kind (or better) income.

And by the way, your mother is fortunate to have a son like you. I am sure of that.

anita