Hello. I’m new here so don’t know if it would be preferred that I start my own thread or jump in on this one that is already similar to what mine would read like. If it’s inappropriate for me to jump in here, please feel free to delete my post.

I have a toxic sister who I have pretty much decided that I need to avoid as much as possible, but to completely avoid her would also mean not seeing my nieces, nephews, their children, etc. And with major life event celebrations (and deaths) there are times we all must get together. I have tried therapy, I have tried being nice to her bullying and put-downs, I have tried ignoring, I have tried having prepared come-back lines…. nothing works – she still has a way to get to the small inner child of mine that she bullied from the day I was born (and is still doing it 60 years later). She will never change and it’s not my job to change her, but I still struggle with the affect she has on me, the comments she makes that cut to my core, and the embarrassment she tries to cause me every time we are in the same place.

I no longer care that she may be doing it out of her own insecurities or unhappiness… that is her problem, not mine, but the way she STILL can affect me, and so powerfully, is mind boggling. I’m here looking for help on not letting her do this for the rest of my life. There are some happy events coming up in the family and I am already stressed and anxious over her not only ruining them for me, but causing me to take major steps backwards in my personal growth.

Thanks for listening, and, again, if this needs to be moved elsewhere, just let me know.
Sue