Dear spence99:

I am thinking it is irresponsible of her parents to allow such a thing, my goodness! One girl 18 and the other younger, staying with a grown man and a teenage boy. This is not an irrelevant point, as I see it, to your predicament. I am thinking your now ex girlfriend may be troubled by lack of good guidance by her parents.

Who knows what they had in mind, allowing such a visit and what their parenting is otherwise about.

You asked: “My question is what do you think I should do to get her back?” Maybe if you open a conversation about her home trouble, her troubles with her parents- which I assume she has. Whether she is willing to talk about those problems, I don’t know. But if she is willing, this may be a way for her to bond to you, feeling that you listen to her and understand her.

So if and when you talk to her, I would- if I was you- ask her what she feels about her parents allowing (or suggesting!) this visit, listen attentively to her answer, gently asking more questions, make it possible for her to open up to you. When a young person has a safe and supportive person in their life where they can be known, heard, validated, understood- that is a powerful connection.

Post again, anytime.

anita