So I totally agree with not playing games btw – have just seen a number of times that people will say “you can do it too” to make themselves feel better about what they are doing – which to me indicates she knows she’s being unfair in what she’s asking but asking anyway. And whilst I wouldn’t actually do it, I imagine if you became less available, it would bring home what she is risking losing.

It’s really tough but does seem to come down to if you think what she’s offering as a way forwards is enough for you – can you be truly emotionally available and connected the way you want to be. Like Monklet says, different ways of leaving work for different people and it’s not wrong – just need to figure out if it’s wrong for you or something you can see yourself being happy with.