Dear ramy:

Congratulations for practicing better habits and for your new job.

You wrote that you visited psychologists twice. It will take more than that: therapy with a competent, empathetic psychotherapist for at least a few months. That would be the place to explore what was so unsafe in the home where you grew up; what you did not get from your parents that you needed. In therapy you will gain the insight you need and the skills to tolerate distress and experience more calm and confidence in your life.

If you’d like here to share about your childhood, I can suggest something to look deeper into, perhaps.

anita