No Midnight. You must get the thought that you are different or abnormal or in some way strange out of your mind. I have heard your story so often that it never surprises me. When I said about confusing love with need perhaps I should have explained better. We all have needs, emotional, physical and spiritual. Now these needs must be met or we become introverted, self centred or even anxious and depressed. The natural expression of a need is necessary for a healthy mind. Now if you have love for someone that does not mean that you can’t look to them to fulfil those needs. Of course you can. That’s what relationships and partnerships are about. When I talked of attachment that is a different matter. Attachment is total reliance on another person or thing. You are unable to give them space of their own. It becomes overwhelming for them. ‘Smother love’ is a good example. A mother loves her child, but is continually looking after it. cosseting it, makings sure it’s safe beyond all normal caring. She has become so attached to the child that it has become almost an obsession. The child enjoys this attention even though it has no ‘space’ of it’s own and can grow into a psychologically disturbed person in later life. We all need space of our own to be us. We need to give our partners space, freedom to be themselves.
Of course I believe you love your partner. Why would I not think so when you come over so loud and clear that you do. You may be projecting on to me, (psychological projection), what you feel yourself, doubt. In fact you say just that. It’s one of your biggest fears. Love the guy. the more love you give the more is returned. It an age old axiom.
It IS NOT unhealthy to think that way.
What I said about labels is that we are so open to suggestion when anxious. If you Google your feelings and symptoms you are making a big mistake. No one is the same and there is no ‘cover all’ for any emotional problem. You have to be treated as an individual. You will be OK if you can take things as they come and not anticipate. Easy? Oh no, not by any means; been there.