Dear intuition:

When abused as he (verbally) abused you, it is not the time for you to be kind to him. Angry seems natural, not kind. But unlike him you can make sure you don’t abuse him when angry, so you don’t call him names or hit him. You say something with anger and the firmeness that comes with anger, something like: “It is wrong of you to talk to me like this! You have no right!”

I like the distinction you made between anger and abuse: “Being angry is OK. Emotions are OK. Abuse is not OK”

I whole heartedly and mindedly agree!

anita