Dear missmegs:

I am glad you posted even though you felt nervous about doing it. I will make my post/s to you gentle and respectful so that your experience will not be a bad one and I hope other respondents, if any, will be as gentle as well.

Talking about being gentle: your mother in her response to your honesty about re-connecting with your boyfriend has not been gentle with you and that is a shame. I wish she controlled her frustration and anger and behaved differently with you.

We, people, do not respond well to threats and verbal attacks. These are harmful, not helpful.

You need “Clarity for Messy Relationships” with your boyfriend and your mother. I think you need to be treated gently and respectfully by both- by anyone you choose to associate with. For a while, according to your description, your boyfriend treated you disrespectfully and that is (I have no doubt) against your best interest.

Are you living with your mother, I wonder. Are you employed…I am thinking better live away from your mother.

I have more thoughts but will be waiting for your reply before I proceed.

anita