Dear Broken Man:

I would like it very much if I could be of any help to you in the context of this Forum. If more insight than you have now can be helpful, then I would like to suggest more insight. This is where I figure there is room for more:

when you were a young 20 something year old, when you met Her, you wrote that you were happy, that you were not in distress or pain. And very shortly upon meeting Her, she displayed that alarming aggression toward you.

If you were a happy young man, assertive, confident enough- how can it be that you didn’t turn away from her?

A young man with adequate mental health would have turned away. Instead, you married her. It wasn’t that you were financially dependent on her; it wasn’t that she got pregnant and you felt obligated to marry her; it wasn’t that a third person pressured you to marry her.

After her first aggression toward you, in the very beginning of associating with her, why didn’t you turn away?

This is where there is room for further insight. I am thinking that when you met her you did not possess adequate mental health. I am thinking you already experienced aggression growing up, only hidden aggression, covert, subtle but powerful. And you experienced it at home. You removed that experience from your awareness best you could. When you met Her, you might have experienced a relatively happier time, but you were still affected by the covert aggression at home. When She yelled at you, she increased the volume, so to speak, of the covert, “quiet” aggression of your childhood and you became paralyzed.

The volume of the childhood aggression against you was turned on when She screamed at you, and you became paralyzed, foggy, dissociated… the “perfect victim.”

Thoughts?

anita