Hi all. Thanks for the replies

@inky: thanks for your perspective. where do you think your need for solitude emerged from? And how do you balance that with maintaining romantic relationships?

@gunter: please can you advise how you went about dealing with your fears and the negative perceptions you have of yourself ? Was that through therapy or through a different approach?

Also can I get your perspective on the one of cheating? It’s still haunting me after 2 years. Do you think this is a self sabotage of sorts?

@anita: thanks for getting back about my questions.

The thing I find hard is that without a guide I’m at the mercy of my thoughts. It’s hard to know which to trust. When the loudest voices are those that make a convincing case for ending the relationship on the basis that I don’t feel strongly enough about her, these are the ones that I pay heed to. My thoughts are always about how to protect myself and serve myself with little emphasis on making connections with others. I suppose I’m still carrying the wounds from childhood right there.

I suppose sitting here right now I have little impulse to get back together with my girlfriend.