Dear jhumber:

This is what came up for me as I read your post: you and your wife are Waiting for her feelings to come back, feelings of passion and romantic interest in you.

I think this is the wrong thing to wait for as it keeps the two of you prisoners. And what if these feelings do come back? Are you not going to be anxious about these feelings disappearing again? After all, these feelings have proven to not be dependable-to-stay.

Feelings change, for everyone, and for me as well. You asked: ” has anyone gone through this..” I believe everyone in a relationship goes through a change in feelings, as feelings, like the weather, change. It is the nature of feelings to not remain the same. And so, to expect feelings to stay the same is no realistic.

If it is the lack of romance and passion that is the problem for your wife (and not ongoing anger and repulsion), then why not accept it and value you for your efforts, feel empathy for you for how hard you try. I think it is endearing, simply seeing how hard you try.

Empathy can go a long way, empathy and respect.

anita