I am happy to join this forum, I am constantly unhappy, I grew up with both loving parents. I was the only child until I was 14. I had a little sister. My family is small and have its ups and downs, but we are a very connected family, always there for each other. When I was about 8 years I was staying with my mother s aunt, and her son used to want to have sex with me, at that time I was just having sex with him, nd not realising it was wrong. But now that I am old I realise it was wrong and no one knows about it. I am not sure if this factor contributes to emotional problems I am encountering at my present life, and if it is, how do I move on from it.

My problem is in relationships, from my first boyfriend I was always clingy, i was always the one initiating the relationship with all people I dated, I was the one who had to work hard for the relationship to out. I was rejecting those that wanted me and only went for those that I wanted nd that treated me bad. I tried to date a guy that wanted me and loved me, but I hurt them by later rejecting them when I see another guy that I liked, nd only to find later that the one I liked does not like me and will only have sex with me and mistreat me. In 2013 I was dating a nice guy that loved me very much, but at some point I did not like him, later on I saw this guy who s now the father of my son, I initiated a relationship with him and my life started revolving around him,my happiness and everything was about him. I became pregnant and after a year he dumped me with no explanation and went back to his ex that he said from the beginning off the relation that he loves her and will always love her, but I insisted the relationship because I loved him and I thought he will eventually feel the same. I am now raising my child and not denying a ralationship between him and his son.

Moving on from that relationship, I started to join tiny buddah and read everyday, I became single and see if I can live on my own, I started to discover things that I love. I was single for a year, then I started again trying to date, I am not that clingy anymore but I am still feeling down most of the times and the vicious circle of dating wrong people and unhealthy dating trends is still going on. I am now afraid of dating…I am an unhappy person and thats how I always see myself and thats how I always bring to the relationship. I dont know if its my past or there is something else in me…I am anti social, I am just awkward that I most of cases avoid people. I work very hard to replace the fact that I am unhappy, and the fact that I cannot find a mutual loving relationship, either I find a person that loves me and I dnt love them, or I find a person that I love and they dont love me back.

I hope my thread is understandable, because I really need any piece of help…thank you