Thanks JJC

Thanks Anita too, I appreciate your honesty. I have indeed put his needs above my own and probably above the children. I have tried to be the best parent I can to them, at the same time trying to clear the fog i have suffered for so long. I have a great bond with both of them and we communicate well. I know I delayed in making my decision and in time I guess I will blame myself for that. I am now in my own home, I have the boys with me and they are being amazing. I am so so very proud of them and sorry they had to witness any stress and upset. They are my priority, along with mending myself, and reconnecting with family, friends and work. I realise I have invested so much of my thoughts and life to him and I now I have the space I hope I can do that. Both boys have shown great strength hand empathy. I am happy for that.

I have a lot of work to do to stop the conditioning I have felt for so many years, but it is already feeling liberating. I feel relaxed for the first time in years. He has been actually quite nice the last few days and supportive. He wants to get himself sorted (so he says) and I want to try and remain in his life for support and so the boys can have a relationship with him. I strongly feel that the boys will benefit from us being apart. I am 99.9999% sure I am not returning, he thinks there might be a glimmer of hope. But I have been firm and in control, I have my autonomy back.