At the end of a relationship it is likely you will question such concepts as happiness, love… if only to make sense of your experiences. You will be torn between acceptance and bitterness.

I know as part of the process it will feel as if your whole experience with this man was a lie.
But that is not likely true. It is possible to continue to love and miss someone even when a relationship as we hoped it would be, ends.

Allowing ones happiness is become dependent on another can put a great deal of strain on a relationship. The idea/ thinking of making oneself happy or finding happiness can get in the way of experiencing joy. Happiness is something we experience in the moment when we notice it. I think if you examine those moments where you were surprised by joy and experienced happiness that you did not create it, they just were. It is only in highlight when we look for explanation, cause and effect, that we say oh such and such was what made me happy. And then we try to repeat the experience expecting the same result, but this time almost always surprised not by joy but by disappointment…

Where to start?
Allow yourself to be ok with feeling lost, there is a time for all things.

Why It’s Okay to Feel Lost (And How to Find Your Way Again)

And maybe you discover that it’s not that your lost but in a time of wandering, and wandering opening the door to discovering your path and joy. “To live like a river flows, Carried by the surprise Of its own unfolding.”

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king
J. R. R. Tolkien