In my last relationship, which ended badly I WAS your boyfriend. It is very sobering to read your story because it is like reading my exes perspective which I still struggle to understand

@Winchester1990 said:
I’ve mentioned multiple times about him getting help which he won’t say yes or no to, I’ve offered to go with him and support him every step of the way too.

Let me say THANK YOU for this, even though I’m not your boyfriend. This is what I wish my ex did for me and I still wonder what might have happened if she had. Maybe I would have gone along with it. Maybe I would have still resisted. I will never know. All I know is that instead of helping me realise my problem she failed to communicate and even lied and made excuses when I was puzzled as to why she was becoming more and more distant.

When the relationship ended all of a sudden I was forced to get help, or give in to my suicidal despair. I started taking SSRIs, going to counselling and learning mindfulness meditation and one or some combination of those things (I can’t be sure, maybe it was all three) has made a HUGE difference.

Every time I break through to a new level of seeing the good in life (and dissipating my cloud of despair) I can’t help but think that my ex would be so proud of me, then I realise again that she is no longer in my life and based on how poorly she handled my issues she does not deserve the new and improved version of me that I am becoming.

It sounds to me like you deserve the best version of your boyfriend, the problem is how to help him become it. You do not deserve to be dragged down if he refuses to see what he is doing to you and change.

I think is he really cares about you and is made fully aware of how he is affecting you he will want to change. At least, that is how I think I would have responded, but I can’t be sure.

I won’t pretend to know what you should do because that is beyond my experience, but my conjecture based on my experience is if you don’t do something soon then you will find you no longer love him like you used to and it wont be worth it for you.

Making him see your point of view wont be easy, and it may hurt him a lot in the short term, but you can`t help the way you feel and that is better than hurting him even more later. Considering how destitute I was when my ex left me, I feel like I would have done anything to please her if only she let me know what danger we were in before it was too late.