Yesterday morning received some bad news regarding a loved ones’ health condition and that loved one requiring a major surgery. This surgery required a lot of money, which I had to arrange and I was getting really anxious over the news. I communicated with a lot of friends seeking comfort. Many said comforting words, but didn’t do much to help. It was this online friend who at once searched for some charity organisations nearer to my city to help me financially and sent messages all through the night, trying to comfort me. It’s moments like these that makes it hard for me to quit on her. It’s so hard to find genuine loving people in life. I’m being torn by indecision. :(. I just wish she could forgot all the bad and just be a good friend to me and I can be comfortable talking with her. But if her husband finds out or my future wife asks us if we are genuinely only good friends, what kind of a reply would I have? Of course there is nothing sexual anymore, but if they asked us if we were always just friends and nothing more, I wouldn’t be able to answer…
When I want to separate from her, its her goodness that comes to my mind and how I would miss such a wonderful person in life (again as a friend and not as a lover or gf or an affair.) When I want to continue talking to her, its her controlling, mistrusting and restricting side that comes to the forefront and it scares me and makes me uneasy. Not to mention my own guilt.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 