Dear Inky:

You wrote: “everyone else on the family… are thus ALWAYS around him”- but your sister who has “been seeing Dad a lot” now “thinks he’s left because she can’t reach (your father)”- so she is not that close with him either, is she? She thinks he left because she can’t reach him, not because he told her he was leaving.

You wrote: “he says ‘It’s not in my nature’ (to reach out)” to you. I want to look deeper into his statement. Not in his nature means he is not inclined to reach out to you. He doesn’t have a desire to call you on the phone so he can hear your voice. He doesn’t have the desire to meet with you so he can see your face, your smile. Not in his nature means he doesn’t want to.

You interpreted his statement (“It’s not in my nature”) as a “cop out”, that is, he came up with an excuse as to why he doesn’t initiate contact with you, but I don’t think it is a cop out. He really is not interested, does not have the desire to contact you. It is not an excuse.

Do you agree? Let me know. Is your question: how to handle your father and/ or how to handle your other family members in regard to their contact with your father?

anita