Dear @anita. I agree with you on many levels. I didn’t want to see what was clear. Or maybe I avoid those feelings of insecurity I had in our relationship. One word: anxiety. I hate this feeling but when I think about it deeper- it isn’t only my enemy. It is also my friend. Because it always tries to let me know when something isn’t ok. I liked him- he was an authority to me, I admire him and he was kind in his specific way. I can’t say only negatives about him. Even if I’m dissapointed. But now I’m more rational about it. I can’t say I’m completely over him but I can admit to myself there were some negative feelings about it, about him I completely ignored just to not make an opinion too soon (based on anxiety only) so I’ve decided to give it a chance.

Month and half ago I wanted to give a break to our relationship. (Not necessarily a break up) Yes- me. For various reasons. He was so egocentric in many ways I had doubts I could handle it. He plead me to not to break up and give us another shot. I agreed. I tried to be more distant. I arranged few meetings with my friends. Tried to keep social contact with other people. And work. I thought it might help us. I gave him an opportunity to fight for me. He missed his chance. Or he was just not that into me.

As you wrote- you think he was manipulative. I had that feeling too. But I wasn’t sure about it. I blamed myself at first.
I also made my mistakes I’m sure. I don’t want to make him look like manipulative selfish bastard. Because I allowed him to much and I wasn’t more radical. I wanted to be nice and tolerant girlfriend. I was scared of fighting. I’m still. But I will try hard in the future to fix it.
But I agree- what he did was cruel. I cried hard for three days because of helplessness I felt. I was like close to heart attack. But I don’t think I would give him a chance. Or if I do so it wouldn’t be easy at all for him.

But I don’t think my chances to get him back are huge. As he said that magic words “I can’t see a future with you.” When a guy says so, it’s end for good.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Rica.