Thank you Anita.
I appreciate the perspective of someone who hasn’t had children and doesn’t regret it. May I ask your age range? If you don’t want to answer that’s fine! I owed it to myself and to her to think about it, ask myself the questions. I do want a meaningful life and I don’t just mean travel and leisure, though they are great things. It will be about being my best, healthiest self so that I can make a meaningful contribution to the world in professional and creative projects.
Yes what you say about my heart trying to convince my head makes sense.
There was love there, and that is not to be taken lightly. But perhaps not love of the depth that we both deserve. Perhaps we didn’t make that deep a mark on each other. Though a mark nonetheless.
I know at the moment we can’t move forward in our lives together.
I think my main issue is appearances. Why couldn’t I have been ‘proper’, to give the ‘right’ news to our friends etc that we are moving forward as a couple should? This has been a lifelong issue of mine.
I could go on…I won’t right now 🙂