Dear Lea:

Personally, I do not consider it wrong for a daughter to want to live a life different than her mother’s, or to be a different person. Not at all. Often is a positive aim.

In my last post, as in the previous ones, I am trying to figure out what motivates you, so to get a better understanding of your mind and life situation. I hope that such pursuit will help you.

If you were aware, as a child, of your mother’s smoking being a danger to her; if you were aware of her discontent with her marriage to your father, if you wished intensely that she would be different: not smoking, healthy, happy- if you wished to have a happy mother-

then it must have been very frustrating for you to observe the opposite of what you wished for, day after day, year after year. And maybe, you promised yourself that since you can’t change her, you will make sure YOU are different.

I can continue, but I will be building on assumptions, and I need your response first.

anita