Not easy or simple, takes time. Competent psychotherapy may be necessary to start you in the process of doing just that. At some time in this process you will be able to detect her thoughts (her values, her beliefs). At some time you will discover YOUR values, your beliefs. And then you will replace her… with you.
Ok well I might look into Competent psychotherapy. I think you are spot on I have a lot of her thoughts (her values and her beliefs instilled in me and effect me to this day, I wanted to please her, rather than myself, even though she’s not asking me to that). Now I am like, “god is my mother a big issue?” we seem to have a really good relationship now, but I think her way of thinking values and beliefs (especially the thoughts she had when she was younger) still have an impact on me today.
Anyway, thank you for your help.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 